Its teh easiest thing in the world to pretend I am happy, if I think on it hard enough I can work it into my routine. I have created the world of who I am and I live it every single day in blissful ignorance. I know for certain I am not happy and that there can be more, so much more.
Everything could have been more but I kept pushing back. I kept saying I had enough time but in reality I didnt have any time at all. I should have been more proactive and I should have loved more.
Love is that dimension that is so powerful that it changes so many other factors. The whole perspective on the day changes where even the tiniest things are amplified. And in that I could have lived instead of a slow drum beating death.