I think that being a single black mother is a gift and a curse. I can only offer the opinion of a black male who grew up in a single black woman household. It was hard because she was hard and I wasnt allowed to show signs of weakness. A father would have understood that I need weakness to build up my reserves for my next move. At least that is how I talk to my children.
Someone who is hard all the time becomes brittle. You shrink when you should be understanding that tides recede and then advance.
But this is my personal experience and I have a lived a great life. I hope you have done the same.