The lights are going out as the wind slowly rolls and crackles into a defeating silence. Words in the darkness matter more now than they ever did and you are the craftsmen of light where only vigilance will endure and your hope is the last tether that will save you from hum-drum.
You speak eloquently but lets see if you can do the work, I mean the shadow work that one that requires you to look into the darkness of your mortal soul and in bold claim that you are missing pieces.
The hard work is the hard work and you have been sherking this responsibilty for some time being the veil of mediocrity. You should be ashamed of yourself but not even the weight of this shame can crush your spirit of wanting less.
You are cursed and the next spell you cast should be the one that sets your free. You have not chanted is before and it will make you feel less of yourself.
But you will need to cross this chasm. There is only one rule for sure that as you walk down the path of life, eventually you will encounter yourself.