I was on the extreme end of pondering, I was into myself and I couldn't really see anything else. The world was begging me to see it all, to experience things that were more than just me. There was an inherit beauty in everything and I wasnt on the inheritance list. I never put myself on the list.
It would have been easy enough to do it, I just had to see the God in people and recognize his power. I made it hard to recognize and it was all around me, that was the irony of it all. I made myself bigger than I was and the world smaller than it could be. I dismissed the Universe and I was wrong for that.
I could have seen so much more, my feelings were blunted. The world beat it out of me through my mother. I was forced to conform and lived longer for it. I had a few scrapes and I barely survived but God was trying to tell me something.
I think I heard him.
Im still listening....