Harold the Hugh Hefner wannabe carrot top...

Lovely enchantress of cyberspace

Betwixt and between us
lies an immense untraversable realm

of never knowable forbidding possibilities

quixotic, rhapsodic, sympathetic, telepathic...,

where tantalizing, scandalizing, and revolting,

nevertheless promising fantasies beckons

buzzfeeding, crowdsourcing, dovetailing,
earthshaking, foo fighting, hashtagging,
jump/kick starting, twittering
uber whatsapp pining

toward pinteresting paroxysms
of mental, physical, and spiritual ecstasy
courtesy hotmail testosterone teasing temptation,

thus methinks of the infinitely jesting

combinations and permutations,
where we could frolic in the autumn mist
in a land called Honah Lee
far from the madding crowd

starkly aware of naked (lunch) able truth,

the one predominant potential

to become linkedin narcissistically -

betokens prematurely ...

Temporal incarnation of Aphrodite...

induces idyllic reverie
delight evoking similar surge,
when skirting, and eluding
fidelity defining the marital law
on par with courting in flagrante delicto.
 

After reading about

Greek goddess of love

fancy notion woke whereof
warmth suffused me
snug as fingers fitted into glove

subsequent laissez faire attitude

welcomed salvation, overstimulation,
labialization, impenetration,
fornication, and consummation from above.

Hands folded prayer

like to beseech thee
to abduct me with

no cause to up braid

natural temptation found

feral, gonadal, and hormonal paroxysm
commanding, fueling, inducing longing
from divinely devoted dada
sacred marital covenant
he twice blithely disobeyed

willingly surrendering quintessential
orgasmic manifestation to nymph.

...

Harold the Hugh Hefner wannabe carrot top...

spry buck analogous to energizing bunny
jump/kickstarted procreation ruckus.
 

Home on the range

cacophony quite absurd
PlayBoy Bunny herd
and felt ingratiatingly inured,
nevertheless colony or nest
of doe eyed demoiselles
stewed over their
kit and caboodle being cannibalized
gourmet chef “coney” or “lapin”
delicacy the magic word.
 

Ruled his hare'm
nsync with trumpeting Donald Duck,
(loud enough to arouse Daisy),
the former cartoon character,
a pensive searing black kind Roebuck
hare to a fortune hauling trash and rubbish,

whereby dust bunnies repurposed

into environmentally friendly
electric kool aid acid tested batteries

powering many an electric truck,
which wolfed, kick/jump started

and guzzled down

synthesized reconstituted q...

Galley slave to obsessive compulsive disordered behavior announces...

Fore score minus xv orbitz ago
from being centenarian

strong contractions forced me

to pass thru cervix,

buck naked bare lady,

I ranked as only grandson sharing

same surname as Aaron,

(mine paternal grandfather)

me the sole heir –

foreshortened to Sol Aire

evinced scrawniness then (as shown

via ultrasound), which at birth

became crystal clear,

unbeknownst to parents

obsessive hidden compulsive predilection

pronounced with social anxiety affliction

manifested later in life,

whose mental health of mine,

would find me at sea

schooled in counting fish,

where I did flounder with anguish,

nevertheless as newborn human being,

the propensity with panic attacks

a decade plus years in future

whereat yours truly

Isis staind 27+ years...

of scorpion stinging poison us marriage,
whereby the missus and I,
nevertheless experienced genesis as
mama and papa respectively.

(jest kibitizing)
 

thus explaining why I
(a beatle browed
sixty five year young adult)
joined blue oyster cult
to live out my dream as
a Norwegian bachelor farmer
yours truly doth exult.

Without wearing a helm mitt on my head,

yet did suffer inxs
of welts the size of cranberries

amidst talking heads, whose traffic
mishap of cars unable to stp,

thus this passenger indistinguishable from
avast metallica skidrow populated

with heart shaped pearl jam wreckage
upon smashing pumpkins everywhere

with an evanescence shimmering

like spilt midnight oil, which dire straits

charged the super tramp ping

man-made debacle into...

Argh, I ne'er got muffin top before - why now!?

Once upon a time yours truly did allow
himself to consume anything in sight
eats of mine in the mein
included an assortment of chow.

Impossible firm me
(read my bookish self
a schlepping schlemiel,
with schmaltz and chutzpah
stationed at Highland Manor
in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania)
to compete with Adonis,

no way no chance
asthma gut busts over
waistband of sweatpants,
the choice couture,

asper this poet, who kant's
cease spewing regularly
(quotidian) raves and rants

years ago (another lifetime),
I partook of contra dance
(the most fun one can experience

while being clothed)
sing, (and most casual suitable
place to find romance)

plus burn calories matter of fact,
a milieu to buff and enhance

physique, while simultaneously
kibitizing wit...

Heterosexual married sexagenarian male...

Aims to trigger cerebral orgasm;
 

Other terms for said phenomena are
"brain tingles" and "head orgasm."
This sensation is described as a pleasant,
even euphoric, tingling warmth and/or feeling
of relaxation that comes in waves across
the head, neck, and spine.
This phenomenon is often triggered
by soothing auditory
and/or visual experiences.

Though puzzled regarding
the minor biochemical
or perhaps neurological mystery
underlying tumbling, plummeting,
and nosediving libido of mine,
nevertheless, I blessedly accept reality,
whereby once raging testosterone
figuratively analogous to former gushing spigot
of hormonal secretion
now (yes pun intended) runs bone dry
and (contrary to any fallacy),
NOT sorely missed!

Yours truly (me) surmises absent sex drive
linkedin to side...

While attempting going to sleep. after midnight..

December 27th, 2023,
the missus pounded mine posterior
(she played paddywhack
on me blimey buttucks)
not only causing contusion,
but flaying percussive rumpus,
where the wild things are
found yours truly feeling
like a cross between a bongo drum

and a Ubangi

(also spelled Ubangui, Ubanghi, or Oubangui).

Meanwhile good n plenty
good vibrations
(cue the Beach Boys) resonated

felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations

occurred upon double mattresses atop bed

within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe

drumming, flagellating
and whipping gluteus maximus

spurred surging aftershock tremors

launched rocketed pecker
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse

Off kilter

Yup
I sobered up
despite expressing regular
(unleaded and unlettered)
urge to shtup
expunged courtesy
system of a down.

The following crafted some time ago,
when empty nest syndrome
pulled me psyche taut
analogous to an outstretched bow
yet the shadow of mine eldest

of two adult charming progeny,
would be aghast and crow
against her papa posting erotica
elucidating, jumpstarting, parading
adventures of his sorry excuse for
cuz he (yours truly)

nearly wrecked marriage

cavorting, gallivanting, lapping
residual womanly exudations
analogous to volcanic Earthflow
witnessing (at mere auto suggestion
of Barenaked ladies bliss,
albeit short lived),
how agnst riddled Peppy (mine)
did bulge, expand and grow

a measly wienerschnitzel
inducing Jolly G...

Stricken with turbulence at about sixty two inches

Yours truly issuing a deafening rebel yell
bursting forth with such might
courtesy cooking under pressure
analogous to volcanic upswell,
forcing me quickly to flap vestigial wings
(at the speed of sound)
while simultaneously karaoking William Tell

overture apple lied courtesy top of the line
supra-aural ('over the ear') headphones
since altruistic anonymous
philanthropist gifted me
I bought the most expensive,
which enveloped me
analogous to pumpkin shell

essentially vacuum or void created
hands free contraption
settled, and kick/jump started,
and bathed noggin
silencing external cacophony,
whereby virtual realm didst quell
chaos assaulting, bombarding,

and enfilading sixty
plus shades of gray matter
like bats out of hell
swarming infidel locked alone in his cell,
who...