Finding Me

Finding Me

I was lost & unable to be found 

Hidden beneath a mask of sorrows & frowns 

Sadden by my very own thoughts & deaf to those who aimed any efforts of a positive talk. 

My vibe was slumbering at best & my nights were filled with a painful unrest. 

I was drowning in hurt & unknowingly loss site of my self-worth. 

To be present in the physical yet absence with mind 

The type of existence that projects laughter yet in silence the inner cries. 

Cries for help in a crowded room however it goes unnoticed because most are selfishly summons by their very own emotional moods. 

If only I can muster up the power to search & stalked down my prior happiness; this thing that we call life would work. 

It would work for me & only then will I come to see the value of my now fruitless tree. 

Erase

Sometimes I feel like just erasing myself & from the look of things there isn’t much left.  A mere shell only remains, a faceless soul with little to gain. 

Unhappiness is the one thing that continually occupies my space & wipes away all efforts of me trying to place a smile upon my face.  

A collective of poor decisions have overwhelmed my thoughts & now I can only reminisce of those internal battles that I once fought. How I use to be strong both mentally & physically yet today I’m weaken by both fatigue & misery.  I sit a many days lost in a stare, to be present in the physical however I’m never really here. 

The great escape is much similar to a magic trick. Now you see me yet my aspirations for life itself no longer exist. 

Anew

As I impatiently await for anew I’ll like to share my today with you 

About all of the dreadful that go through

Days when rooms are darken by closed shades & do not disturbs helped silence the noises friends made

How the mere sight of moon light only means without rest for another night

The isolation from & how efforts of inclusion are only invites for me to get up & run 

The smile that hides away the hurt & the laughter that hid behind thoughts such as I can’t let them see my pain therefore I hope these giggles work 

The struggle of getting out of bed is just another battle much similar to getting these troubled thoughts up out of my head 

 ...

Wake Up

Each day we awake to a fate that reflects a hate that somehow we can’t escape.  

A misfortunate path traveled that perpetuates a relatable loss.  

An abundance of unfavorable seasons in which our greater purposes have regretfully paid the cost.  

Yes individual success is a complete bless however as the collective our lack of togetherness only helps with keeping us amongst the less

The sleepers

us that walk amongst others yet it’s our struggles to stay afloat that dives much deeper

To a depth that drowns away unity & much like a cancerous tumor it slowly consumes the life of what should be a forever evolving community

See it’s we that did not plant this seed of pain nor are we the root f...

The American Scheme

Today I’ll rest my case on the mere facts that this country wasn’t built by way of love but yes every bit of hate. 

A hate that has manifested for centuries & has just now evolved into a declaration of pure misery. 

It was the Fort McHenry battle that prompted the words “Land of the free & home of the brave,” which must’ve been a neglectful oversight that looked just beyond those trail of tears and shackled slaves. 

See during those very times is when the foundation was laid & it was also when this country became truly cemented in it’s hostile ways.  

By ways of coercion she (America) took away from those things that she had no rights to; a murderous appetite with no limits of what she was willing to do. 

The suspect (America) killed cultural traditions & beliefs & ushered in a sense of fear that to this day remains unleashed. 

Much sim...

Pain I Feel

See we're living life in so much pain and with cloudy days comes the most hellish rains Drenched by a sorrow that will for surely change Change the mind frame of the once sane into a madness thats goes untamed See this is just our unspoking truth, unjustifiable, and its undeniable How we've been forced to breath life into a system thats non reliable A system that has misled for generations and has bled well before and much after our great emancipation The proclamation that supposedly set us free yet what is freedom when it comes with a life of unwanted misery Much like our brothers and sisters over in lybia having to revisit our forsaken history But to a devil its all a mystery followed up by questions like whats the problem or why do they cry or why dont they just shut up and accept the lie But closed mouths wont help this stronghold die Because in our realm evil has no place and the only way to confront this type of evil is to look it str8 in the face Lock eyes and ...

She's Pretty Ugly

Damn I thought you were all that 
Pretty face, nice smile & yowas so fat 

I had become mesmerized by images of pure satisfaction.
A satisfaction that surely became my daily distraction

Hook, line & sink 
I was caught up in a visual that made me feel weak.
 
A beauty that lies in the eyes of the beholder & baby you projected a beauty that made every God fearing man manifest the thoughts of "damn I want her." 

That was up until the photos had come to life 
That moment when you opened your mouth and I knew then that this beauty wasn't  right. 

For it was your exterior that had exemplified a beautiful unlike no other but internally is where you hid a ugly that I would soon come to discover. 

Your attitude was foul much like the unwarranted defile that would come from mouth. 
A unattractive style that would speak volumes by muting the p...

Hidden Pain

Your voice belongs to pain 
You conversations are at best pointless and offer little to gain

You've become a master of hiding hurt & you flirt with any ears that have mistakenly tuned in to your over exaggerated works

You're always willing to put on a show to an audience that paid no admittance fee; glorified self-adsorbed stories for absolutely free

Delusions of grandeur, self-impressed by manufactured lies & in the midst of all the who, what, when, where's & why's
The real question still remains, and that is, where does your true happiness lie

See we can see right through your bluff & we often wonder when will enough be enough?

Are you not tired yet, of communicating a over load of gibberish dialect

Because gibberish talk is all we can hear
A bunch of nonsense perpetuated by a hidden fear

A fear of silent thoughts, that somehow helps reveal a truthfuln...

A Dumb Chick

A Dumb Chick Thinks B.A.C.K.W.A.R.D.S. 

S-he
D-oesn't 
R-ecognize
A-ny
W-ins
K-eeps
C-anceling
A-ll
B-lessings   

When it comes to a good man... #WordSmith🤔

~BiggWhite~

The Money Shot

Lights, camera, action & once posted it becomes a visual dis-satisfaction 

Media propaganda, a handy dandy tool that's used for distraction

The money shot, is what they do, although deep down inside they know better, yet they're hell bent on proving a pointless points to both me & you

The point of no return, the point when withdrawals & check stubs become the financial statement placed on a pic, so that everybody can count what they've earned

And I do mean everybody, even the neighborhood thief is thinking like "damn! When will these s ever learn?"

Well I guess it's true, a fool & their money shall soon part ways & a dummy with a camera will always try to entertain

Yea I know some will say "I can do this because I'm fearless" and I'll say we'll be ups to your bravery but muthaf*^ker we could care less

But wait! Unless you're running a ...