Anxiety

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life

 Anxiety
Breathe in breathe out.
Breathe in breathe out.
My breath quickens and soon I start to feel light
Headed hard headed simple minded
So confused on what it is
Don’t know what I should do
When everything I do is seen as
Wrong…
The Stress is too much.
My heart rate quickens.
My head begins to pound.
I start to scratch
Scratch and scratch and scratch.
Until the skin rubs raw
And sweet red life
Starts to breathe the air.
I’m Hurt.
But I refuse to let it show.
My heart aches
From being held and cared for
And then being thrown down
Stomped on
With no second thought.
My mind is run down
From attempting to face my inner demons
Without a clue in the world how to do so.
Confused,
Alone,
Tired…
My body is Weak.
I live as the owls do
Sleep during the day but
Wide awake at night.
My thoughts torment me.
Ridicule me.
Tear me down.
To the point where I feel like
I’m nothing…
That I’m not worth being around.
That nothing I ever do is right.
That my parents would be better off
Without me.
That everyone would be better off
Without me.
I cry myself to sleep.
Wondering,
Praying,
Wishing I knew
Why…
I don’t know how much more I can take.
On the outside,
I smile.
I laugh.
I dance.
I sing.
I’m strong.
But on the inside?
I frown.
I cry.
I hide.
I ache.
I’m Defeated.