Who's going to love me?

Her

Struggling to keep my composure
The worst part is over
I think I found a four leaf clover
This feeling
These emotions
Threaten to drown and pull me over the deep end
Can I let him deep in?
My knees shake like an earthquake
And I debate what I’m feeling
Real recognize real
But what happens when they’re both fake?
Both lost souls with no faith
They say the devil comes in the most beautiful disguise
I think I found the devil and he’s all mine
Mine to touch
Mine to keep
Don’t tell me what is wrong for me
I already know
But as much as I am scared I can’t let these emotions go
I hope we grow
It’s been too long
17 shots in the dark and the only love I ever known was gone
So I walk around coldly, unholy
Chasing paper
Fade her
I make love to this shot and chaser
...

I believe in one love

I believe that black love does exist

it is the sweetest kind of love that could of ever evolved

and to say it is extinct is to be foolish

but i do believe that the consequences of our choices

has landed us to this conclusion

no structure no balance

we do not support each other as one people

yet alone as lovers

so when one says they want to explore

different cultures different pigments of skin

it should not be looked at as if to be a deadly sin

we all have one heart and one mind

once they are both pure

i see no wrong in love between all of mankind

gender to gender

diversity is sucess

because in this life there is always something to be learned

and something to be taught

with the testing of waters

in my world "to be or not to be"

is never a question

i believe in one love

It is just that simple

Sometimes i wonder what will become of her

that scared little girl

it's as if the thought of loosing her paralyzes me

yet to get rid of her will be to get rid of my insecurities

my childhood haunts me with a vengeance

as if to say off with her head

to speak the words

would be to incriminate another

potentially leaving me dead

because our secret

would never be understood

and with the eyes of a child

i said that i would

keep sealed lips

leave those words unspoken

but 7 years later

my mental state has taken a token

paranoia my friend

despair my lover

can i ever trust another with my unborn child?

because being left in the care of a man

created my turmoil

but i smile because i see better days

and the turmoil that i face

proves to be beatable

because to remain a victim

h...

Memory Lane in New York

 City lights so bright 

memories flood my brain

dive into these thoughts 

and i'm sure i'll go insane 

I walk the streets we creeped 

Tarzan and Jane

You being gone i wonder 

who's to blame

you wanted fame but

these streets don't love you like i do

and in the end they were the ones that took the life from you

17 shots

city lights shine so bright

that i wear shades in the night

got to hide my tears 

got to hide my fears

of never making it there

the promised land 

guilt shows on the palms of my hands 

cold sweat leaks from my pores 

as i walk through unclosed doors

But to accept defeat would be the easiest choice 

see when he was taken

my whole life was shaken 

in and out of relationships 

broken promises

and deat...

Dear Lucifer

Dear Lucifer,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that our affair is officially over
I’m tired of playing hide and go seek
I’m tired of being content only to be weak
I’m tired of being teased and lied to
Having what I want only to have it taken
The love you distributed should have been forsaken
Thanks for making me realize that there is more to this life
It was all worth it in the beginning when at the end of the day
You’d rock me to sleep and sing me lullabies
And tell me that living a reckless life was fine
Because it’s only for today
But with you there were too many todays
There has been too much tears and too blood shed
Bruises from punches
No air in my lungs
Because I was sprung on this happiness
So blissful that not even honey bees
can produce honey sweet enough to trickle the sin I tasted on my tongu...

Untitled

So many things to say

with little or no words

trying to express myself

is an impossible task

a dream deffered

i wish i could tell you how much you hurt me

but i'll leave that to Adele

it was as if i set fire to the rain

trying to explain how broken i felt

the patience i needed

and the rewards that would be great

if only you knew

but you couldn't wait

and i get it

good girls finish last

especially those who are tainted by their past

it lasts forever you know

that first heart break

the hurt is raw

it lingers under the surface

like an earthquake

there is no recovering from it

although it takes more than that to turn a heart into stone

that is why i had to take the step into the unknown

forgive and eventually forget you

what would love be without tragedy

i hope that you remember ...

Time to speak

We are all different
Nothing close to the same
We stand on every corner
In every shape and frame
In every skin color you will find us
Dark, olive and peach
You better not approach us
With a lame or lengthy speech
Some of us are tall, short
Thin or thick
We created man best believe we proud of it
But why does he repay us
By raising his hand
He shouts he screams he is horrible that man
No respect we get called names
we get cheated on and lied to
Like this is some game
Emotionally they say we are weak
But I think it’s time for a woman like me to speak
Treat us with respect
Is that too much to ask?
Treat us like your most prized treasure
A treasure you would never want to put back
Respect my body my soul within
Love me like I’m the most deadliest sin
Desire me and hold me like I ...

My Letter to You(myself)

I have a couple things to say to you
Things that may seem bizarre
Things that will probably hurt your feelings
But it’s for the best
I think you should know
I love you
See it seems like the idea of love is so vile to you
That love from yourself is unaccepted
As if to say you are a fool
As if to say attending school
is having nothing for yourself
You’re ungrateful
But yes see bad things happened to you
I understand
But you should of known
Putting your trust in a mortal man
you’ve deemed yourself helpless
Yes your kindness was taken for weakness
But no good deed goes unpunished
Bring out your better self
and let me love you
Understand this
I’ve never gotten a love letter
And if I did it probably won’t have enough words
to heal this heart
Sometimes we think that if itâ�...

Who's going to love me?

 Who’s going to love me ?           

A question I sometimes ask . It seems like the grass is always greener in my past
Like old movies ,I play back the scenes of romantic times
These romantic scenes only showing the face of one guy
But with the progression of time
He was stripped from me
God said he was the devil
And he schemed on me
Changed me turned me into this different type of girl
So death made his pick and he was stripped from the world
I tried to replace him like he was a used tampon
I thought i could pluck ,insert and all the pain would be gone
I was wrong
I can’t even breathe
Forgetting monogyny
To embrace different anatomies
Gender simply was not an issue
Truth or dare
I choose the plain simple truth
So I walk around like I got bricks for feet
Wishing in the next hour

They say blood is thicker than water

They say blood is thicker than water
But I beg to differ
because right about now, water is the only element keeping me alive
It quenches my thirst
The more I try to be involved
The more I realize I am introvert
So enter and understand my virtues
My blood will never see what I see
So thank God for water
and all the things they’ve done for me
Black sheep pretty
Different from the flock
My articulations of the world
Never giving me much luck
Luck of a connection
I think to myself, maybe they’ll somehow see the world through my eyes
But negative vibes and empty minds prove to handicap
Never once have I asked for charity act
To hear “I love you” is like hearing thunder clap and lions roar
Some doors are meant to be shut
Some rugs nailed to the floor
Never let those demons out
Never did I ever have a dou...