When urinating into the toilet bowl...

Black and blue boo boo bruises courtesy hurled Bobo box

No matter I sustained multiple contusions about the face and neck and minor head concussion after the missus tossed an unopened box of five apple pie stuff'd oat bites in my direction (what got whisked - as clocked by yours truly at lightspeed), nevertheless (whew), no permanent damage prevailed regarding the cherished goods.

While recuperating in the hospital bed,

I decided to craft incident report,

(yet refuse to implicate the missus)
quickly letting fingers
skitter across keyboard
couched with divine intervention,

cuz yours truly nearly got declared dead,

thus the following words quickly typed
before creative juices fled
despite skeptical readers,

who might immediately deduce
that I rightly ought to be
declared out of my talking head
thankful caring empowered

stalwart connections qua invaluable friends

gifted with emergency li...

When urinating into the toilet bowl...

yours truly (me) could not help but notice
while living social at various residences
within Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
the following described phenomena
actually observed quite some time ago

maybe back during
my carefree boyhood days of yore

that the uncontrollable spurt
analogous to a golden arch
of micturition arcing
toward parts unknown
(frequently missing the target altogether,

and wetting the seat
subsequently displeasing the next person
more often than not the missus,
who sits upon wet porcelain goddess)

initially issuing from out

my diminutive male member,
(even when fully erect,
no longer than
a small walking stick
for a lucky leprechaun),

when said jet stream
makes splashy contact

affecting fountainhead into pissoir,
whereby a bathroom
tchotchke of At...

Come join me in spirit if not in body...

regarding my resumption of daily/nightly constitutional

I accompany my dark shadow...
(many hours before edge of night,

where twilight zone evokes night gallery),

and resumed walking a circuit

around perimeter of parking lot

today, a breezy temperate

twenty fifth of April two thousand
and twenty two, and perhaps
if regularly habituate myself
to said stroll physical endeavors
may one day find me to cantor or trot.

Yours truly realized modus operandi

to kombat (mortal) lethargy;

last year, he did stride rite
around resident parking lot area
(here at Highland Manor apartments)

then usually at approximately

19:00 hours each day

casually bumbling and ambling
one lap after another

counting one hundred and one,

one hundred and two,
one hundred and three....

I aim to live in the here (ahem hair) and now...

despite entrenched familiar
obsessive compulsive disorder behavior

distracting me courtesy
countless what if scenarios,

particularly before undergoing

voluntary drastic makeover

as iterated in a previous poem,

and briefly recounted here

as foregoing Samson personification
now please don't blame Delilah!

Once the decision made
(two weeks ago
September twenty fifth

two thousand and twenty four)
to finally liberate yours truly (me)
(cue the following
Jean Jacques Rousseau quote)

"Man is born free but everywhere is in chains"
accommodating torture chamber
ala complex edifice,
(albeit invisible) erection

as tangible substitution
for undersized male member
(Sigmund Freud would be smiling)
heavily weighing down mine psyche
from harried st...

I stand proud with pride...

exuding suave debonair air
plus head and shoulders taller
(than the empire state building -
hey what's a little hyperbole, eh?)
since September eleventh
two thousand and twenty four,
which date marked a major change
(yes folks - more important
than getting married)

during threescore and five years
incorporating mein kampf
voluntarily (and without bribery,
but with liberty and justice for all)
to maintain a scheduled appointment
at Salon Nova,
an upscale hair cutting/styling boutique
located at 377 W Ridge Pike A,
Limerick, Pennsylvania 19468.

This recently unkempt
aging married sexagenarian
and solitudinarian sultan of swing
long haired pencil neck geek
self adopted behavior modification
particularly regarding maintaining
personal hygiene of mine
woke as if from somnambulant state...

Autumnal equinox occurrence 2024

I riff flecked about thee August

Autumn Equinox 2024,

this polymath learned

fall Equinox will be Sunday,

September 22, 2024, at 8:43?AM,

in Northern Hemisphere

Eastern Daylight Time,

which spoiler alert thy

learned wordsmith (courtesy Google),

when (Our Sun) Welles
(exemplary Citizen Kane)

crosses celestial equator

i.e. (imaginary line in sheltering sky
above Earth's Equator

from north to south),

a barley detectable

quiet rye hit moment occurs.
 

Eyesore fissured gash – wide,

where survival of fittest futilely tried
to the max, videre licet (courtesy

badass foo fighting
beastie boys of Homo sapiens)

offended beholden hidebound

contractual obligation reneged

wedded bliss to the other,

alarming, blaring, and clanging

Happy two thousand twenty fourth birthday Autumn - September twenty second

But first etymological climatological meteorological esoterica from our sponsor:

The word autumn (/???t?m/) is derived from Latin autumnus, archaic auctumnus, possibly from the ancient Etruscan root autu-and has within it connotations of the passing of the year. Alternative etymologies include Proto-Indo-European *h?ew?- ("cold") or *h?sows- ("dry").

If you reside in the Eastern time zone, then fall officially begins at 8:43 a.m., local time. The start of fall will be at 7:43 a.m. in the Central time zone, 6:43 a.m. in the Mountain time zone and 5:43 a.m. in the Pacific time zone.

Despite twittering, uber
sputtering kickstarting lyft
onset of cool weather
argh, another brief daily spate
re: forecasting blistering,
nauseating, sweltering...
ninety degree plus Fahrenheit
temperature forecast
(along eastern seaboard)
courtesy mister summer,
who wi...

Apostle Matthew encountered...

artist, dragon and gangster extraordinaire

Written September ninth,
two thousand and twenty one.
Reposted exactly three years later.
 

Here at 2 Highland Manor Drive

Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Actually all three people

linkedin to each other courtesy

Dissociative Identity Disorder

(Multiple Personality Disorder).

Wiccan up to mystical alien way

I raptly listened as she didst soothsay

scanned -- din heavy yen reference

about paganistic folkloric history

regarding Sweden and Oslo (also) Norway.

The missus dubbed

aforementioned young gal "curvy girl,"

a zaftig smart young woman

super talented self taught herself

to draw, sketch, and paint.

Only unmarried millennial men need apply,

per...

Matthew delivers his latest bullet – tin...

from the Harris-Walz front
where liberal minded socially progressive

electorate doth agonizingly grunt

targeted in crosshairs scoped out
eager and ready to be mortally wounded

courtesy notorious big headed

(and bigoted) infamous

for bearing arms

as if going on a hunt

as attested to him and recorded for all of posterity on March 14, 2019 at 3:05 EDT by Analysis columnist Philip Bump, (a national columnist for The Washington Post; before that he led political coverage for The Atlantic Wire. One of the paper’s most read writers, he focuses on the data behind polls and political rhetoric), he recorded one of the most famous and insightful lines Donald Trump offered on the campaign trail in 2016 came during a stop in Iowa, shortly before that state’s caucuses.

“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and wouldn’t lose any voters, okay?” Tru...

For some enchanted evenings...

The following scenario imagined
after the hoopla of

Democratic National Convention miracle workers
Kamala Harris and Tim Walz
trumpeted politically wholesome zeal,
and achieved advancement
propelling them ahead
in the race to the White House.

Unlike the hangdog expression of Eeyore
the current vice president of the United States
linkedin with governor of Minnesota
woke the electorate and victory they did score.

The donkey brays

with hearty "hee-haw" sound
finding formerly grim predictions

as foregone conclusion
reversing what appeared

as a near landslide victory
for the party where pachyderm

characterized as mascot

Fiery rhetoric mobilized populace
unlike former lackluster candidate,

a common Joe - just Biden his time
foretelling a horrid and gloomy fate
champione...