enduring child abuse was not a easy thing
the reason I write is to ease my pain ease my pain
you cooked them I ate them
that's why today I hate them
day after day no surprise
in my bowl the beans I despise
I liked them before but dont like them no more
I tried to push them away
because they were spoiled that day
"YOU BETTER EAT THEM BEANS"
you would say
maybe if I had them with some rice
a slice of bread or a cracker
would have been nice
you were not nice you were mean
popping me on the head with that
wooden spoon that stired your beans
in that big black pot
that I washed alot
in that big old house
with that big eared mouse
taking lick after lick from switches and belts
too young to do anything but accept
the hand I was dealt
too young to understand the meaning of hate
every time I heard your voice I would regurgitate
I ran away but not far enough
when they found me
you came and picked me up
took me home and roughed me up
I got the belt and the buckle
the fist and the knuckles
they say whoop em when they bad
you heard whoop em when they sad
I tried to tell it they took a look
the marks were too old
like too late the bodies cold
you should have been jailed
for what you did to me
the things you did
nobody else could see
you were twisted you were sick miss
remember how you tried to kiss me
everything I loved you destroyed
my dogs my cats my toys
waking shaking in night sweats
feeling the pain from the fire
you burned me with
I was behaved I was your slave
not a frown not a sound
Im angry now I wonder why
somtimes when I laugh
I wanna to cry
Im in therapy
they say I got some issues
a chair a couch a table
a box of tissues
I dont know why
its been along time since Ive cried
I heard you were dead
I dont know if it's true
If so It's Gods time to deal with you
I still hear your voice and shake
in the middle of the night
wake up holding my pistol too tight
I hope I never see you again in life
If I did I would shoot you on sight
I prayed every night
NO MORE SUFERING
NO MORE PAIN
NO MORE KIDNEY
NO MORE NAVY
NO MORE PINTO
NO MORE BUTTA
NO MORE BEAN