Snaggletooth The Snitch

Harumph to holiday hoopla - pshaw!

Relieved of fatherhood Saint
Nick schtick found me

to relinquish ratty outfit,

and stow away zee bras

like padding and "FAKE flowing beard,

ah...don't remind me,
those well worn faux paws
of each dear deer (hooping Rudolf would
set precedent) as every other reindeer withdraws

not to budge like...a Mexican stonewall

contractual obligations grudgingly negotiated,
(especially citing animal abuse

as insanity claws),
wits while angrily clattering rooftop
to rooftop, without pause,

what, and me forcing

those strenuous hee haws
(hint to potential dada's, that ledger domain
promising humongous gifts gets old fast,
generating nuttin boot lockjaws

(other Kris Kringles would agree),
where haggard overworked (underpaid)

frequently threatening unionized joining
pos...

Snaggletooth The Snitch

We (me and the missus)
live in a decent
accommodations low income
quite modest rent,
which facility lacks no shortage
of gossip mongers

with mail delivery the major event
many old people smelling of unguent

faux superman thumping chests nsync
with hooking thumbs around
suspenders feigning to be affluent,
and self important as former

triple secret double agent
yeah, minus the snitches,
the one bedroom apartment
at highland manor ranks
as most satisfactory ascent
to appease our taste, and

general environmental ambient
aspects compared to other
housing situations of ours

so, despite most every nosy, ancient
snooty, hoity toity...tenant,

particularly one butch herd gal

with a eyed louey, facial accent
a perfect spectacle for circus big-tent

Happiness is a new wireless mouse

I bought from Staples earlier today
November 18th, 2024
cuz the the older one malfunctioned.

Said older generation mouse sported
a rather extensive "mouse cable,"
one end of which ended
in a standard connector
namely a USB (Universal Serial Bus),
which plugged into the Macbook Pro computer.

Though the aforenamed laptop
equipped with a small square panel
containing different touch-sensitive areas

linkedin with cursor movement.

I much prefer to manipulate

that amazing hand-held device

detecting two-dimensional motion,

and translates "planar motion"
into cursor movement,
and yours truly (me) particularly elated

after quickly jimmying electronic
palm size pièce de résistance

to function without a hitch.

A living hellish nightmare...

only just began early today
November 6th, 2024,
when my eyes frightfully espied
glaring headlines bespoke horror
swiftly tailored, harried styled
conjured, portended and yielded
worse fate than being gratefully dead
after the polls tallied up the votes
beaming none other than

pudgy hugely crass blimp
as the forty seventh septuagenarian president

of the United States of America.

Before delving into worse case scenario

regarding the candidate,
who clinched the nomination
as commander in chief
with special thanks to Elon Musk
(despite being an engineering genius)
for amply funded inimical,
maniacal, and radical
antithetical, egotistical, and heretical
verbal incursion, and character assassination

videre licet concerning democratic opponent
boosting drek fueling horrible jibes,
no surprise a...

Suddenly frisson linkedin with fright...

I describe, suddenly feeling scared

and tried to summon sense and sensibility

after scrambling to stand upright

with all my might.

Otherwise titled

recalling taking a fall

about five years ago

ala Humpty Dumpty impersonation

(and nearly cracking me noggin),

think the character

in an English nursery rhyme

opened to countless interpretations,

even resorting to ask Reddit for

"ChatGPT, to finish

the Humpty Dumpty poem... Oh god..."

which complete computer generated

Using the same prompt, here's what I got.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

In the shadows of dusk, where the darkness does creep, Lay shattered the shell, in a...

Miniscule male member doth bend sinister

impossible mission of mine to bare witness

whereby mine (whore rubble) puny phallic

describes a bent shaft, particularly when cap
locks on first observed by the missus when

we consummated intercourse, though nicht
married, cuz the rutting urge overtook both

of us 24/7, 365 days year not omitting the
leap day, which arose because planet Earth
doth circle around the sun within 365 days,
5 hours 48 minutes and forty six seconds
to orbit the nearest star, according to NASA,
and while that calculation (rounded down
established by Nicolaus Copernicus in the
16th century, when he proposed heliocentric
model - quite controversial to the church ladies -
upending geocentric theory placing the Sun

at the center of the solar system, with Earth
orbiting around it; his theory was detailed
in his book "De Revolutionibus Orbium
Coelestium" ...

Into the Sturm und Drang fueled maelstrom

Otherwise titled – my poetic impressions of Helene
 

All la names bespeaking deity froom
Noah Mo' Room India Arc
of Covenant to crypt tick Blood
(sweat and tears)
of San Gennaro devout wowed,
and/or Turin shroud

bullishly, consonantly, demonstrably,

desperately, faintly, glumly,

yet plaintively, muttered aloud,

no evading the steadily avowed

atheist approaching COSMO funnel
(dumb mental) stormy dan yell cloud,
cuz far as the eye could see -
at least by this Beatle browed

bipedal hominid (north, south,
east, and west), the conical, demoniacal,

and elliptically endowed
sky high reversed cone, bow wowed
wailing 10,000 maniacs +
same number of banshees

wove weft and white
across wide whirled web
whereat, the black vortex

vacuumed ever...

Unorthodox nonestablismentarian epitome

Describes celibate bent aegis.
Mein kampf illustrates gravitas.

Underdog muted lest intimidation

think bully brandishing fist in my face

threatening to buzzfeed me
a brassy knuckle sandwich.

While breezily reading Judy Bloom,
(whose material geared
toward young adult)
book titled Blubber - published in 1974,
(which year found yours truly - me
undergoing amazing transition
classified as puberty)
bemoaned childhood's end - id est mine
interestingly enough romanticized boyhood

livingsocial within Lake Woebegone

(way before Garrison Keillor
named said fictitious town),

purely swiftly tailored

harried styled fabrication,

although that first decade

found torturous growing up years
more so courtesy
self exclusion from reindeer games,
thus during lunch or recess<...

Dump Trump - The demagogue Hitler reincarnate!

Countdown to Armageddon
precariously, lugubriously, hellaciously,
and deleteriously hinges

potential apocalypse now outcome,
mere smattering weeks away

if the brazen, fierce-some
amazing dragon doth don

trumps presidential throne -

ships with whistling
Dixie missiles at bay

will be synchronized

with aerial bombardiers

to parlay a view to unleash
nuclear weapons on cue

destroying a vast swath
of flora and fauna,

and most life forms
(inn oh cent), but pay hefty due

to assuage the aggressively cruel, enjoyably

growling at his goalie indubitably

kickmindset
worse than dengue fever will ensue

a combustible domino effect
fueling global horror –
turning everything into ashes
as mushrom cloud grew

analogous to kindling tinder logs smoke<...

Literate lettered latitudinarian looms larger than life

I feel honored, and flattered to acquaint myself (a married youthful looking sexagenarian solitudinarian from southeastern Montgomery County, Pennsylvania), yet feel awkward at jump/kick starting a rapport.

Literate lettered latitudinarian looms larger than life

Presents the following slapdash
higglety-pigglety bupkis, whereby reader
experiences being mentally hogtied
perusing pseudo poetic perambulation
devoid of sense and sensibility
welcoming character assassination
concerning pride and prejudice
of yours truly (me),
who merely strung together
words sharing "arian"

as their last five letters
for no particular rhyme nor reason
quite aware that forced gobbledygook
underwrites storied reputation
of unnamed aspiring author
cramming nonsense linkedin
jibber-jabber hodgepodge fashion
deplorable basketed mumbo jumbo