1900
I hate when they praise the dope game…
talking about they getting back off cocaine…
Yeah my moms and pops know that slow pain…
trying to stay clean long enough to get us kids back
we were in the system losing hope as they slid down that slope…
had a dream they were clean and it was a joke when I woke…
only pretty colors I ever seen growing up was when I stared down the barrel of a kaleidoscope sad inside but I would try to cope couldn't read between those lines so why enroll?
I hate the smell of crack creeping under my doorway and air wick didn't solve it…
feeling unloved 95% of time 5% percent numb by the time I was 9…for every line snorted and every ambition aborted I wonder where me and my siblings could fit in…I hate that our ware far depending on ware fare as my parents life revolved around chasing some high and treating the dope dealer like he was god…in his flashy gold chain facade…I approached him hoping I could buy my mommas soul back…tears along the years that I just couldn't hold back…as we peered down the stairs and watch dope fiends smoke until the dope ran out…Kool 100's blazing…the craving got them ranting and raving willing to do just about anything for that hit…including forget about us kids and what we was going to eat for breakfast…my momma pawned my granny's necklace and my game boy for a 8 ball…Dope boy's I can't help but hate ya'll…or should I say the system…or should I say my parents for not resisting? We insisted that they love us more…pops all I remember about you was they way you looked walking out the back door down alleys to score…momma you gave birth to us... you could have loved us more and Granny thank you for doing what you could…Cancer took you way before we was old enough to make it on our own…Auntie J…I love you for making sure we weren't alone…
baggies and brillo…burnt spoons and wounds that heal slow…For that hit ya'll stooped real low…I hid my paper route money inside my pillow…so that y'all wouldn't steal it from me when ever I found the time to sleep…too busy thinking your scent could navigate me to find you out in the streets…knocking on crack house doors getting no answer…my lil mind never stopped giving ya'll second chances.... because the love was so strong and Granny told us that ya'll had a problem and that hating ya'll would be wrong…so we loved you through growling tummies and desolation…broke off antennas no changing stations…birthdays passed no celebrations…graduations and adolescence spent filling in our own blanks about the mysteries of life…We loved ya'll like y'all loved the pipe didnt we?
