Heavy heart (rant)

Detached

I rather be 

Heartless than thoughtless

You tried to stop me 

Even four chambers couldn’t  

Halt the process 

I jumped hemispheres

Before I found

Balance between

Two regions 

The voices in my head

Thought they could conquer 

My cerebrum 

My times like air though 

Similar to your

Favorite reruns 

What’s that mean? 

It means I’m 

Taken-

Like Liam Neeson 

Armed and ready

Just give me half a reason 

So many references to war 

You’d think that 

I was seasoned 

A female general 

Emblazoned-

To my adversaries 

There will never be 

Allegiance 

I know 

I’m fueling the fire 

There’s already

Too much hatred 

Shots Fired

Ever feel like the closer you are to the sky

Your confidence expands so you think it’s safe to lose the ladder 

Then your feet slip, a screw loosens, it’s now an uphill battle 

What’s that cliche phrase we all say? You get thrown from that horse but the next day 

Get right- 

Back on that saddle

We’re human, every ego gets bruised and battered 

Change the channel ———

I devised a plan to generate-

Mayhem 

Pull the trigger, strike a chord

It’s fun and games

Until someone’s brain gets spattered  

Where’s the laughter

It’s dead silent 

Death pays out like riches 

Enough of the friendly gimmicks 

This is a warning: 

Never wage a war

You don’t intend to finish 

Look! That could incite a riot 

Wait ..

Do us all a favor and...

View

Where would we be 

Without a bit of 

Healthy skepticism

In a world 

Where fabricated news

Aims to grab 

Your attention

Like an extension 

I draw the line 

Anytime 

Identity politics 

Is mentioned 

Teachers 

“Educate” 

Our children

While 

Adults nowadays are

Glued to the television 

You’d think 

Class was now in session 

They must be pretending 

Who believes 

The screen? 

You want them

To.tell.the.vision?

I rather live blindly 

Cut out my eyes 

Make a quick incision

At least my thoughts 

Are free 

I’ll never be imprisoned 

Everyday 

I make it 

My personal mission 

Keep the mind ...

Pay Attention

It’s hard to get my attention 

Yet I notice every detail 

I use laughter to cut the tension 

Hyper vigilance is a curse 

There’s no exchange 

That’s not worth a mention 

Every body tell’s a story

You don’t need ears to listen 

Psychology taught us 

We speak volumes 

Without ever saying a word 

If you catch me in a crowd 

I’m silent 

I’m taking it all in 

People watching is 

A favorite pastime 

Taught myself to read 

In-between pursed lips and 

Eye squints 

Awkward Ticks 

Repetitive words 

Shaky hands 

When you hand me a drink 

Loose fingers when you speak 

I’m watching what you’...

Confession’s

Here’s my confession

I’m not waiting on good intentions 

Those are IOU’s

I lack the patience for extensions 

Too serious for concessions 

Let’s get to the grit

I had a muffin this morning 

I’m supposed to be on a diet 

Stopped using profanity in 2019

I recently started swearing again 

Told my sister yesterday 

It feels like I’m regressing 

She laughed and reassured me 

I’m moving in the right direction 

Little does she know 

There’s skeletons behind 

Closed doors 

I confess 

I haven’t cheated on my best 

Used to lurk in secret 

Late nights on the creep 

Until I met the woman of my dreams 

Wait, this gets deep 

Me

All my life I've been told not to overthink

I can't help myself I was born to read 

Between the lines that can't be seen

It's a miracle I have time to breathe 

You won't find me hiding behind daydreams

I rather overanalyze everything 

Just to turn around and doubt what I believe

I'm a product of music and history 

My refined mind capsized by 

Life's unusual designs

My wires are crossed 

You'd mistake me for a robot 

I could never be 

I question everything I'm taught 

You'll never catch me out of thought 

My piece of mind can't be bought 

Put my two cents in wherever there's a spot

Don't get it twisted 

I'm never too confident to listen

Come a little closer

Let me in on what you know 

I won't settle for mediocre 

I'm only st...

Another level

Picked up a pen 
To reload ideas
The way you would a weapon
My tongue tucked behind my teeth
Like a Smith and Wesson 
Waiting for the perfect spot 
To take shots at anyone
With the truth I speak 
Open your mind 
(and you shall receive)
Don’t shut yourself out 
(Because your sensitivities) 
I’m venomous 
What I write is a minor extension 
Of my brain waves 
Each time that I breathe 
My blood capillaries release
The oxygen that's coursed 
With 3/4 cups hatred and a 1/4 of remorse 
There you have it!
I’m back at it 
With a thirst to blow holes
Through your windows
Since you reject the aptitude 
I refuse to drop the attitude
Until I’m given the respect 
That’s been due
Far from your average Indi...

This isn’t blasphemy

Grew up without ever questioning your word

I once walked as a soldier 

Shoulder to shoulder

With this fleet 

Met with moments of turmoil

But never defeat 

I could recite every word from your book 

As if you were speaking through me 

Then I grew older

Undoubtedly colder

From the world that I’m in 

I tore my heart from my sleeve!

That one rainy night 

(In October) 

Alone and weak-

I recall sitting in silence

Frozen from watching the blood 

Saturate the sheets

That wound never healed

I keep it open as a reminder 

To only trust in what’s real

I look back at my old poetry..

Nearly every write praised you

What changed? 

Did I distance myself 

Or are you displaced? 

You know what fears to destroy me ...

Take it all back

It’s too late for you to apologize 

10 long years of ignorant bliss led me down 

This road of unhappiness. 

I stood at your side so convinced that our love was reciprocated. 

Yet, your loyalty had long dissipated

Come to think of it..

How can you still look me in the eyes with a voice of sincerity while you speak everything but the truth? 

You didn’t shake or stutter when I questioned you..

I could resist your touch just don’t lean into me when you breathe

Your breath reminds me...

Of the times we spent sprawled out

In our king size bed

After hours of steamy sex

Dripping in sweat. 

Wait..

Take it all back. 

Where’s the remedy to cure me from these memories.

I’m exhausted from overthinking- 

Rough

Used to love rough

Caught in the rip tides of lust

Still thinking it was love

She’s “the one” mentality 

Whenever a woman approached 

With the kind of qualities I couldn’t resist

You guessed it..

I even convinced myself I needed you 

Passerby’s recognized the oversized hearts

In my eyes

I was radical for the soft kisses she gave

The way she grabbed my face 

To pull me in closer..

Sent tingles down my back 

I loved the idea of getting rough beneath the sheets 

She and I disguised by the night light 

Soaking up the rhythm of desire

(Honing my craft)

Watch how I set her soul on fire 

With the way I handled her curves

I molded her body and she rose

To every occasion. 

“Ma...