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With my Heart Poured Out

The truth, is such a complicating avenue. To tell the truth about ones self, never ever seems to end well. I'm sitting here in my own heartbreak and confusion trying to figure out what I should have done. And I'm finding myself in the only exit possible.

I have loved you in a way that only movies are made of. I have lost you like every great tragedy. I don't know the hold you have on me but I do know that no one could love you greater. No one may understand it, at times you never felt it, but by my own submission you were the answer to all my prayers, the answer to every single question yet to be asked...the answer to who I was. You...were my dream come true. Losing you was an anguish I never felt, not having you is a death I'm dying every minute, of every day. I need you. I desire you. I crave you. I long for the way you used to look at me, the way you used to love me, the way no one else stood a chance at trying. If I could do anything to get that back I ...

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YOU said I did this.
At first I believed you were right, though...
being the cause for your pain & your tears was not who I wanted to be.
3 years...
and it hasn't gotten any better.
I try to walk away.
You'll give me space...but...
somehow, we end up right...back...here.
I dunno what to do anymore.
I feel like I'm suffoccating.
I see the hurt in your eyes.
We're disagreeing and nothing's changing...
you're hurting more...
and I just want to STOP!
You say I NEED to fix this.
You don't even sound sane anymore.
You talk like you don't know me,
accuse me of things that aren't remotely true.
Idk what I'm doing but I'm drowning in this view you have of me.
Did I really do this?
Am I really THIS terrible?
I'm so SO SORRY...
But I don't know what to do...
I feel alone...and scared...
and...I just don't know what to do....

Lost in Love

This doesn't seem real.

Like I'm living the role of another.

A heart that's fallen.

A soul that's broken.

Ive been misdirected, misinformed....missed.

I've fallen in a love that's lost.

Bombarded by memories of what was.

But no longer is.

My head says one thing...

while my heart says another.

If I could release this confusion...

its quite possible I'd know what to do,

or maybe not.

Sometimes you must walk away...

Give up the fight...

Die a lil' inside...

Or you fall and let love catch you.

If we're not meant to be...

why does it hurt so much being without you...

why do I smile at just the thought of you...

why do I ache to hold you?

If we're not meant to be,

Why do I believe you were made for me?

Bedtime Story

I wanna tell you a bedtime story,
I wanna relax your mind and engage your fantasy with a lullabye of a lyrical proportion,
I wanna translate good and evil,
take you on twists and turns,
ups and downs,
ins and outs,
I wanna excite you,
Ignite a passion inside you,
Imagine...
that for one second...
its all about you,
its your adventure,
ur world,
from "once upon a time,"
to "happily ever after,"
ur the heroine,
MY heroine,
my princess,
my queen,
my poison,
AND my desire,
baby, you are it!
All wrapped up in one,
I wanna tell you a bedtime story,
where dreams come true,
and wishes are fulfilled,
where goodness prevails,
and evil is conquered,
I wanna tell you a bedtime story...

SuperHero

Every Love song is just some beautiful melody until someone gives it meaning...
You created this superhero persona in me,
wanting to save you from every hurt & heartache,
wanting to free you from every worry,
every stress,
to give you every reason to smile,
to find millions of ways to define my love for you,
but my kryptonite so to speak...has been myself,
those days I disappoint you,
or let you down,
the way my words hurt you, though unintentional,
On those days I forget that I am only human,
I am far from perfection,
I will have bad days,
I will let my pride get in the way,
I will shut you out with every intention to protect you,
though pushing you away is all I do...
YOU are my heart,
YOU give me reason to be at my best,
I ask you to keep me grounded,
and remind me that we can get thru ANYthing TOGETHER,
I will have days where I...

Death by Lethal Injection

 A response. That was my crime. My trial was a collection of events of an up and down proportion, highs and lows, laughter and tears. My sentence, a promise of a slow agonizing death. And the executioner wastes no time.

What have I done?...It started with an innocent hello...then, I made promises I couldn't keep...and had wants that I couldn't live up to...then it became a snowball effect...repeating over...and over again...this was not how it was suppose to go...I've been injected. I had this vision, this plan, this perfection in mind...and nothing went right. I feel it in my veins. Im not sure that our outcome is necessarily the wrong outcome...but its not what I wanted. When you love something, sometimes you have to let it go...that's what happened here. Its a cold slow death. I said things I didn't mean, but things I needed to say to make you wanna walk away...you won't understand...but please...don't think for one moment that my confessions of love were only wor...

Selfish. Shallow. Stubborn.

 Selfish. Shallow. Stubborn.

This was your last compliment.

Because I didn't do what you wanted, didn't look thru your eyes, didn't put myself in your shoes.

Selfish. Shallow. Stubborn.

This is how you now see me.

Because I didn't see the underlining issue, because I have an ISSUE wanting to make you happy.

Selish...Shallow...Stubborn...

Selfish because I've grown doing for myself, taking care of myself...my priority is ME, I don't depend on others! Shallow because I know what I don't want a part of my life..."Stand for something or Fall for anything"...shallow because I don't flirt with trouble and choose to not get involved with those that could tear me down, not caring what a GREAT person they MIGHT be. Stubborn...because I know what I want and how I feel about things, I will see your point of view but if I still do not change mine...I'm STUBBORN.

Selfish! Shallow! Stubborn!

For someone that makes you...