"Lost and Not to be Found"

"Unmixable"

I've only changed in dimension

Wild?

No, just exploring my visions

My mind is broader then the "Jasmyne is close-minded" that you try to build as fact

Yea I failed math but it doesn't mean my mind isn't analytically abstract

I can count through the lines of the times you didn't accept me for me

1:3

That's the ratio of what you think is best to you judging me

Why do you treat me so differently then your kids

When you're the only father figure, to me, there is

It's a sad fact that we can't get along

Considering that you've watched me grow since I was young

Can't entirely blame it on the military 'cause it's our fault that our "father-daughter" relationship can't be fixed

I guess this is the way it is, oil and water just can't be mixed

"Mom, don't worry"

I know that I'm a bad apple that fell long ago beyond the tree

But does that mean that no other apple should fall behind me

So since I'm the apple that spoiled the bunch, doesn't mean that my mom gave birth to a gang of runts

Even though my steps shouldn't be followed

Cecelia picked up my tomboyish ways, chris picked up my thinking process, and Shannon, shielded as she is, is turning out to be just like me--internally tough and hollowed

As my siblings they cut off the rotton pieces and devoured the healthy

See mom, don't worry, just be relieved 

"Metamorphosis"

Left in the corner for the wall to hold

Lack of sunlight and water so from the shadows I mold

Lurking from my cracking disappearing stupper I crawl, wobble, then flip

Feeling something like a LSD, caffeine, skittle trip

Tripped in front of a fan

Blown away into the trashcan 

Struggling my body transforms to balance out my permanent visit 

My body starts going through changes to balance out this new metamorphosis

I grew wings so I don't know what's instore

A sudden twitch causes my wings to flutter and fall as I hit the floor

Inquisitive and intrigued expressions grow across my face as I reach to look beyond the door

Nothing but pessimistic , various paths of wild hibiscus with self-moving thorns and optomistic snakes too

Sorry for the morose view

But it's survival of the fittest so what path should I choose

Better get moving quick because if you snooze you los...

"Motivation"

I peel the skin from my fingertips

And carve hearts in its place and let my fingertips bleed

Then I stamp my feelings in writing instead of wearing it on my sleeve

Edgar Allen Poe thoughts and William Shakespeare speech modernized with Emily inson ambiguity but I don't practice pseudepigraphy 

My words are my own-- a true story 

But once the blood dries I'm left with no ink but fear

Fear that lingers and leaves me to believe that my stories have ended 

Yet the rasp of my fingertips against the dry piece of paper won't let me surrender

I go against the grain and aggravate my new found heart and allow the lightning from the rain to feed and gnaw

I enjoy the pain and ignore the sight of my fingers going raw

The hurt excites my hunger for my writing as poems are my niche 

Yet I'm not satisfied and the pangs grow deeper and bellow quiet sorrows 

I've killed my heart...

"Lost and Not to be Found"

 Hold me tight

 At least until the deed is done

 I feed off of superficial love so I won't run

 With a love pill in hand I'm more accepting of your love and affection

 With this I dress my cold heart in lustful infatuation 

 If you have feelings for me don't let them show

 The house of my emotions is a crater of a cove

 Unveil my insecurities and soak them into your pores

 All I'll do with that conversation is put it on hold, for the devil and I already spoke and he demanded that those stories should never be told

 Just take this time to love me as the mirage I could be 

 Leave your questions and goals as one in your pants

 Love lost and no love gained are my only plans

 I want you to leave with just a face and a name

As I'll leave with no memory of you or a thought of this reoccuring

 The o...