Beautiful Phantom

You try to rationalize it all,

say my emotions are only human,

its the animal instinct inside?

but I keep getting farther away,

drifting from this life...

or is this pain just humanity knocking once more?

this creature I am keeps laughing every time I look at my hurt face in the mirror,

so this is how it feels to be alive,

or is it all just dead inside?

like the dried up tears that sting your face,

those cuts you can't erase,

is this how my heart breaks?

you try to tell yourself its all a game,

well its a game of catch in your heart's glass house,

so its not just a lie your really not invincible?

too bad you never listen,

you can take care of yourself,

well now you learn that being on your own means no shoulder to cry on?

you feel like sleeping 'til spring,

with autumn it feels like...

So it transitions back to fall,

Picking at the scars of times past,

Painful like broken glass...

Remembrance in sorrow,

Of dreams, of so many pictures, and all the pretty faces,

And they all have just slipped away...

Torn like this life you left behind,

Still that beautiful darkness pulls you down,

Like a storm in the ocean that no one will ever see...

The feelings killing the inside me,

Fighting this drowning black,

Life's coming at me like a panic attack...

Shuttering every time I take a look back over my shoulder,

This dead-end road's getting dim,

Shorter as the nights grow long...

Depression sighing the lonesome song...

With nothing to do but try to kick the sky,

Or be here anchored to the world wishing yo...

It hurts to face the day any more,

Life pulled down by the fear,

Is it worth it,

Or should we just throw it all away?

They say life is good,

But we're never really alive when all we can think is how dead we are inside,

So what have we left to lose,

Isn't it our own path to chose?

Should we go to the right,

Were all the smiling people are,

When our hearts say fallow the others like you,

Should we fallow something weak and broken?

Is this where we drop the blade,

Say good bye to yesterday,

To feel the sunshine on your face,

Or is this just another life we take?

We try not to drag the others down with us,

But when they hold us so near,

It scars us all I fear,

Still I ask why not let it end here?

I can't ...

are we trapped in this life,

 so this is what we do,

this is how we feel,

this is the thing called life,

its time to sit back,

take a look around,

and see all pain that we've made into life,

creeping its way ever so slowly in,

this ...

as the breeze blows by,

the sun shines,

almost taking away the stinging chill of life,

now only seems a slight aching from injuries long past,

the mist all clears from my head,

a thin smile comes to my face,

an old friend comes to take a seat beside me,

as we sit here talking I realize,

this is nothing, only an illusion,

at the thought I laugh to myself,

what really is the difference between truth and dream,

as I ask myself the moment vanishes away,

time to live life another day...

As I lie here again,

I remember the stars,

The breeze that night,

I see a ghost robed in white,

Returning for sweet torment,

As I grit my teeth,

I turn away from the horror,

The beautiful phantom memory,

I fight the feeling behind closed eyes,

Retaking my composure with a sigh,

As I dream about peace,

I enjoy the times ago,

The perfect world there,

I wish to sleep forever tonight,

Relive those moments over again,

As I cry myself awake,

I want it all to stop a moment,

The only moment I need,

I could to look past the line,

Remind myself what it goes to,

As I just walk on,

I wonder why as I go,

The life I live for is always waiting,

I gag and watch it walk away from reach,

Repeat the wor...

I look at the diamonds,

On milky waters of blue,

And waves of silken gold,

Afloat on a sea of green...

I lie here as a dream again,

Breathing colors so pure,

And flying as I fall down,

Its no feeling I can explain...

And I don't understand it,

So I just listen to its beat,

Like a drummer marching,

The old great clocks ticking,

He speaks a language strange,

Alas, no mortal translates him,

Reluctantly I follow as he leads me,

Winding over hills and passage...

I close my eyes and realize,

Yet again I have lost myself,

As I mistakenly try to rationalize,

All that I'm surrounded by,

And so I ignore myself again,

As I look with my spirit at life,

And every thing I see through it,

The feeling of shear chill as we ...