Pierce my body in places where there arent meant to have holes
hopefully some of the pain will seep through
cover my flesh with tattoos to cover the physical scars
which lead to deeper emotional wounds
no one can see
but are clearly there
whenever my mind has idle time to reflect on all ive been through
body paint
disguised as make up and clothes to hide my many imperfections of feeling inadequate and never beautiful enough
designer handbags and shoes
to hide my blues
only make them appear clearer when im in my room alone
nit picking at my multiple flaws rambling through different body modifications to make me feel complete
and acceptable by society twisted standards
i ask Jesus to heal me
for some reason i feel ignored
i keep going through this whirlwind of emotions
i cant seem to get a grip to learn to apperciate me for me
how can i want someone else to with all of my body modifications
somewhere deep down im there
yelling for a helping hand
my voice is muffled from all of the secular music
praising those who have the same insecurities as i do
what is wrong with me
why cant i see the beauty God created of me
original indivdual
one of a kind masterpiece
no self love
its buried deep inside
under all of the men who took advantage of me
and the ones ive given myself freely
only to leave empty handed
damaged more than before
no one willing to lend a helping hand
just walk on by
as if you dont see me crying
desparately needing help
no one came to my rescue
so i took matters into my own hands
body modification
with no hesitation
nipping and tucking
applying and covering
what i didnt like
so no one would recognize me