The Candis Guide

LOVE DRUG

My love for you compiles of strong emotions
I loved you so long with immense devotion
through the years together there's been much affliction
Regardless, I needed you you were my worst addiction
The high that I felt While being with you
The lack of self love that is now overdue
Your love was so good it was therapeutic
Recovering, Its so hard to get through it
Everday is a constant struggle to give you up
Though it may look easy its really pretty tough
My heart aches in pain to watch us seperate
But I know this pain will soon terminate
The withdrawals from you put my stomach in knots
Leaves me dazed and confused completely lost in my thoughts
A drug this good is hard to let go
But the health risk here is greater I know
This experience with you i will soon not forget
But i know i can do it i can kick this habit!

love is not enough

The saying goes you dont know what you have til its gone

I bet you never thought you'd loose me after this long

Though thick and thing, fire and ice

I bet you didnt think then but now youll think twice

I loved you more than words could ever express

But fight after fight you put my already fragile heart in distress

Every time we fought I still loved and came running back for more

Only to be broken down disrepected and knock to the floor

In hopes my love was strong enough to hold us together

I stuck around and hoped over and over for forever

Love is strong my emotions are too but somtimes I am just not that tough

Sometimes no matter how stong a the emotions no matter how strong a love

SOMETIMES love just is NOT enough

lost love

Me and My Fiance of five years
just broke up it left me in tears
we broke up over a stupid party
he said why was i going out at 1 in the morning
he continued on to say
he was going to have me come over and stay
but if i was dumb for going out then
what would change if i went and stayed with him
it doesnt make sense to me
im just wondering what others think
i mean im a mother of two
i never go out they are all i can do
i have no friends since i had kids and an old school friend invited me to a party and he said he would go
then decided he wasnt yet to me still go
now he is mad and we broke up
but i am trying to see it his way and figure out over what?

5 years gone!

A long time ago walking down the street

on a hot summer day tank top capris and sandles on my feet

I looked at you and watched  carefully

as I watched i started to think look at that guy caramel skin, so fine

i want him now i want him to be mine

and as the thoughs ran through my head

i kept walking, you yelled and said

for me to come over to talk to you

nervous and happy i walked to you

and as i got closer my tummy bubbled

my paces got quicker and me feet fumbled

from that point there i had to know

the secrets you hide which way to go

should i give him my number does he want me

he looks like a player but i could not foresee

so i took chances i didnt know this would happen to me

five years later and look what i have me by myself without you around

me with my strong wills could never back down

i love you so much this you could not ever...

invisible baby

as his hand brushed her cheek

tears fell down

no words could she speak

silence not a sound

she turned towards him and said

I love you and this will be okay

as many thoughts raced through his head

she continued on, god's with us today

the decision we made

will be long, hard, and rough

but thats why they say

god created people so tough

the hardest decision had to be made

to recieve such a gift or just let it fade

to share some insight I was struggling with one child and I got pregnant with a second and as much as I thought it may be better for all to abort the child god would not let my mind body or soul terminate the prgnancy

scars

you have left these scars all over me

scars that hurt yet no one can see

they are hidden inside my mind and heart

and now it has started to tear me apart

these feelings of hate are in over drive

they have been there so long I can't override

resentment and pain is what I feel now

I feel all of this even when no tears fall down

emotionally scarred is the way you left me

with pain and scars only I can now see

completely drained of the love I once had

now left feeling alone, hurt, and sad

let go

I love you so much how do I let go

You've hurt me so much you'd  never know

You've shattered my ego like a payne of glass

You took my heart and mashed it to ash

It will be long before my heart can mend

Before I can care and love someone again

A hardship I bare for being with you

and loving you uncondtionally all the way through

I may not always be the woman you dreamt up

but I stuck by you and loved you through all this stuff

I will eventuall move on and be just fine

I just pray you get help and you'll be alright

A Dream

My heart sings a sad song

day by day as I gp along

I love you but don't think you feel the same

sometimes I feel like a pawn in your game

somtimes I dream of this magnificant life

and how we are together as man and wife

 then I wake up and realize the dream

and realize that life is nothing as that seemed

I want to be happy and live like my dreams

I want a my man and wife dream to be reality

somtimes I sit and ask myself why...

Why does he hurt me and make me cry?

I sit and I wonder how I'd be without

but my mind does not want to go down that route

I can not go on feeling this way

I can not continure on another day

today is the day something must change

or I will be forced to find another way

a way with out you with only one instead of two

color

today the world is so seperated

everyone is so segregated

though everyone cries equality

he thinks, she thinks, there better than me

black, white, spanish, and asian

we are all one the same man

people need to realize today is the day

to forgive and forget about slavery

white people your not better than anybody

regardless what you were years ago

its in the past today were equal now let it go

skin color means nothing know whats inside

forget about it learn whats behind pretend you were blind

today the world is mine and it is yours too

its not about the white or black man its about you.

To: I am a caucasian 23 yr old women

words

the words you said cut like a knife

those words were the deepest slice

to come from you such a sweet man

none of what happen was part of my plan

it does not make me happy it does not make me smile

maybe you should take a walk in my shoes for a while

see where I have been and where I am trying to go

see what my life has been and learn what I know

do as I do, move as I move, feel as I feel as I try to smooth

smooth over all the lumps, scratches and bruises

after the fights the I love you it wont happen again

see how you might feel my sweet friend

I have never judged you I was just there

How could you judge me? How is that fair?

How can you tell me what is good for me?

you are a beast so you can't tell me

do you have something to gain from this?

from me not being with him...I never said I was going back<...