Escaping suicidal

lack of sex

Lack of amplified scenes

Positions I need to be in I miss so bad

Aching for a pain where legs burn

Carpet hurts my skin I wouldn’t be mad at all

I want it so I say but will it be satisfying

From my overdue break

My lack of amplified scenes

Or will it be just a tease of what I really been looking for

To please me…. 

Who Am I

I Am

A girl who cries only on T.V

As I lie down and hit the pillow

Only my eyes knows

I tell my secrets to my soul

For I don’t think no one understands

Trying to be hard as possible

Like a baby trying read a bible

I don’t want no one to like me

Im lost parentless

Found my matured younger than I was suppose to be

An adult I was at 14

I run with shoes I had for a decade

Wal-Mart was sax’s fifth

And sax’s fifth was make believe

I have achieved things that’s taller than me

I believe I was born to fight off this beast

When happiness blows against my face

No more running I ran the race

As I pace searching for the beast

Remove her so I can see

Who I Am

S*** im still searching for me

Without love

The creases between my lips that burn for chapstick
I want to feel love sick
Love is something that’s missing
From me
Singing with no voice
Crying with no tears
Soap with no cloth
Fire without heat
Seeking for love but love has yet to find me
Missing something that has not been giving
Shivering without being cold
I want to be hold
Kisses that makes my love overflow
No fear that the love will go
Smiling harder then the sun blinds
Light up the world even at night with the love that comes from you and i
No luv I said L.O.V.E
Searching

 

Tired

Im so tired
I can slap fire and it want burn
My bed is calling me I can hear her purrs
I wanna sleep until Im fully rested
Chasing money but im still stressing
From lack of sleep
Energy pills, red bulls
They’ll be my best friend until
My bodies rested
Overdue with obligations that my eyes want stay open for
I cant wait to place my body in the queen size bed
Softness with pillows
I get my beauty sleep
And when I wake up
Ill be a live wire, high off of life when I get my sleep I want be tired
 

Escaping suicidal

Placing a nine against my brain could be so easy
But pulling the trigger where will I go
Will it be easier then my tears that’s soaking on the floor
All the things that has cause me to come to this day
I shall stand and not let it be me
Fear strikes knowing that I may not see a brighter day
But if I pull the trigger all I will see is darkness
No more reason to get mad
Being loved by many will be erased
They will just miss me saying
RIP
I refused to be a victim of this bullet
That’s tryin take me I will overrule it
For I am just going through life
Struggle and pain
I will smile one day
No pain instead they’ll all be erased
Hypnotized snap my finger and I will forget everything
F*** the gun
Laughing at the bullets because I know one day I will say I have won
Victim to be suicidal yet
Ima take this life struggle

Alone

I do so much for people

They do nothing for me

People killed my kindness

I used to be sweet

Now you can say I mean

I speak so bluntly

No I will scream

Saying yes to those who used me…

I would whisper because I would feel ashamed

See I am the one who captures

But when I fall i have no rope

Mommy and daddy left me long ago

Rip

While I weep

And scratch up change to eat

I don’t cry no more

F*** it I aint weak

I’m sorry yall but im just trying to release

The issue that hurting

Looking around me

My unpleased lips shivering

For its scary as H*** knowing I only have me

forced to love

I feel obligated
To a f*** up situation
I don’t think ima take it
I don’t want the old feeling
Of his love that was
Once what I was fighting for
I feel obligated because
Now he loves me more
But he did so much to me
I can’t seem to forget the pain
Ashamed to admit to him for I
Feel as though he may take his life
I feel obligated
Im sorry I can’t take it
Abusive he was
Cheater because
He thought he could run over my love
But now…
I still feel obligated
To love him for loving me
But forget that he should thought about the times
When I cried waiting for him to be mine
Now I aint got a challenge to win him
I don’t want him but he wants us to get married
I feel trapped when Im with him
He is wonderful now
But the past taunts me
Still I feel obligated

I APPRECIATE THESE HOES

Appreciation poem for you all

Girl don’t stop what you doing

Just don’t do it raw

Go head give him your all

No walls

For just that night

Even broad day light

Cause you aint got no standards right???

I can’t judge for who am I

Im just happy you able to give it up

So I can be the good girl that keeps it tight

While you giving him what he wants he texts me goodnight

And open doors for me

Not slamming the door in my face

No 35 dollar room

I got my own and he does to

You wouldn’t know cause he don’t know you

Your name rings cell phones

Laughs and jokes

And they call you over to give them all what they want

Im telling you I appreciate because I couldn’t do it

Without you it wouldn’t be any comparing

Men will walk around ill cause all the women trying wait till marr...

Can you hear me

I scream can you hear me

Don’t act like your not listening

My voice is amplified

Sounds like a witch nails going across the chalk board

And I roar until my throats soar

Shaking my head you cant tell me I cant do this anymore

I have a voice

Can you hear me

I dare you to try to take it away

My arms can reach across the world

For I am not a little girl

Don’t think I cant find you

The one who try to take me through

Can you hear me

Who am I speaking to

Anyone that gets in my way

For one day

I will be famous all of you will no my name

So now you hear me…

DONT WANT THAT LOVE PART 2

Overdosed off his chivalrous

Nice smile protective body over me

He was my everything

I gave him my heart key

And told him no one else was for me

As he sit silently

How bad I wanted him to speak

Tell me how his love for me was deep

I think I loved him because he could go too deep

Make me scream out in ecstasy

Then I started to screaming cause I couldn’t breath

Hyperventilating

Over how much hurt he was causing me

Once before couldn’t stop his kisses and his love I start missing

He start dissing

He stop listening

I start forgetting

And let other man give me the attention

Because I remember 2008

Wasting my life naw I cant

But I loved him so I say

Then i come to realization

He want S***

Aint that a B****

Thinking I was going stay around cause he had a Big D***

Tol...