Most nights...

We are not blood

We are not blood,
But this women unknowingly loves when I bleed.
She criticizes me,
She yells at me,
She doesn't listen when I speak,
She doesn't remember when I tell her things,
She loves to tear me down.
Only she can hurt,
Only she can stress,
Only she can say as she please.
She angers me,
She boils my blood,
She makes me want to yell.
That means she wins.
The beast shouldn't win,
Its not fair. 
Who has learned this woman's tricks,
Who has learned to ignore,
Who has learned to be emotionless,
Who she calls mother,
The beauty should win.

(just a rough draft)

Right this moment

Things change...

 I  said I only wanted you,

  now that's not the truth anymore,

I can't believe I swore.

Things change, and rearrange.

I'd rather not be apart of your twisted life,

I've found my own happiness in my own life,

I have a different way of life,

no more words of your knife life,

so have a nice life.  

Most nights...

 My friends have fallen to dream land,

I stay awake unplanned,

I like to think with my eyes open.

If my eyes close for bed and I'm not tired,

I begin to feel uninspired,

my mind is then left wired.

I've tried to close my eyes, 

but once the thoughts start they can't demise.   

We Condone...

 I'm sitting on a bench in the hall,

Rambling Depression

My hope has decreased,
My want to change the world is decreased.
I keep making mistakes,
There are no returns, or retakes.
I can’t handle all I do wrong,
Sometimes I think
If myself
the accident
didn’t grow and live,
There would be nothing wrong.
You know what is the hardest?
Waking up in the morning and going to work,
When I see happy people,
I think why.
Why are they happy?
I think I deserve to be happy,
But around every corner of right there is a wrong.
That one wrong pulls me into the dark shadow of my mind.

fault

I know I forget this,
or that,
or I get distracted.
I am really trying,
trying doesn’t matter,
because trying is not doing.
Mostly everything is my fault,
I know.
Don’t worry about me any longer,
I’m fading ,
No dating,
No living In fear.
It’s now myself,
and my mind.
I can sit in silence,
In my room,
for my life,
writing and painting.
At least I will have a smile on my face,
and not in a casket with no smile.