 I'm trying to make sense
Of what this could mean..
But the more think..
The more sit here numb...Â
Am alive or simply just breathingÂ
Â
Nothing seems as red
Or as joyful
Â
Or as painful as it did
I feel like a black and white facsimileÂ
Of my former colorful self
Â
What is the joy of life
When my smile saysÂ
I'm happy .. but .. my heart...Â
Tells a different story
Â
Is it possible that hope
Had mended and broken my heartÂ
Right inside of meÂ
Â
Can i possiby make senseÂ
Of what this could mean..?Â
Â
Am aliveÂ
Or am simply just breathing
Â
~Kilay~
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Kilay
 4800
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Am I alive?
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OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Kilay
SavedSaved I heard this voice Inside my head Is it okay If it feels like this The god complex. I clinch Every time a car passes Yet the on the highest peak Of the human flesh I rise And peak like the skies As they kiss the mountain peaks Trying to recite a prayer My heart has revised many times before But my lips Could only take turns At practicing on the skins of others How many "hail mary's" Does it take To wash away My sins His bed knows More names than "I" But it knew well enough To not name a sound The same way I never do As he took a hold Of whatever was left Of my soul after A few shots encountered Raising my voice As it loses itself beneath my breath I call it the resurrection Of before the toxicity When temptation bit it's lip And I was so taken That I still find It flows just beneath my skin.... And I hurt ... As though I've never felt The bleed escape my skin... As though I've never let My tears flow and taste Th...  |
UntitledI want to run through your mind while you try your best to unlove me until the opening of my legs feel like a vacation you're in desperate need of but.... you can never afford I wonder.. how many souls that will become the ancestors of the next generation have embraced the very essence of your bedsheets -Thembekile Kilay Deh'Poet Tsaoane |
teardrop.Tear drop. Silent screamsFrom the heart of a broken angel...Who could have known That opening my heart up,To the world could be fatal? Pain seeps through my skin....And rolls down my cheek Straight down to my chin....As if I let my heart lose And these tear drops win ....I let pain,Cut through me Like the thorn of a rose...I let evil Leave my heart exposed...Blinded by these tear dropsWho could have known That love would be fatal?~Kilay Deh'Poet |
poem for MandelaAllow me a minute And nothing more As I sound my heart And bid farewellas I watch my hero kiss his death Startled........Afraid......Trembling....He knew the outcome The consequences of opposing oppressionBut only a real leader Is willingly ready to sacrifice their all For the freedom of his people ......Freedom of the oppressed Freedom of the crying mourning for the hero of their beloved country For as my hero walked out the prisoners rooms towards the gate that would lead him to freedomHe knew if he didn't leave His bitterness and hatred behind He would still he in that prison oppressed.....Crying for freedom watching as hope fades for this beloved country ......He climbed a great hill To shout silent screams That flow past the oppression... And move the mountains and seas........But after climbing ... |
love could be.My ancestors have traveled the seven seas Having heard wondrous stories
Of what love could possibly be...
But none actually sounds
Like its coming from the universe..
I can't seem to help, but wonder why hearts break
And dreams seem to fade...
In the midsts of air..
Why are memories
The architects of inspiration?
Would love not have been
Almost a planet away
Peaking through tiny black holes
Floating in a turquoise dreamland above the sea ...
Far away...
Dancing by moonlight
To silent screams...
Killing it ..
Burying it..
But gift to t... |
blurry eyesBlurry eyes. Are those tears in your eyesThat I see?You have blurry eyes Blinded from the tearsOf your broken heart......How do we see each other? When fate has made hateYour sweet beloved enemy......Have the gods placed a curse on you? ......Do they not feelThat you have endured enough...? Is it not wrong,That all the painHas made you to hate love this much..........What are you doing here ...When it is hatred that has broken your heart.....Hatred ... And bitterness....That has made your heart As dark as night...? Do you not wish to change...? Maybe one day.....Eventually...When you decide To run away from suicide And watch your heartMake life a happier place.....When you can close your eyes ...Hold me close ...And we can make love,To the sound of our heartbeats........<... |
loveSometimes love Cannot overcome the terrible wounds Inflicted on a person By the past Thus broken heartsWound innocent people And like an arrow Piercing my liver. .Love will pass me by And I will chase it Not knowing That it will cost my life Proving that following your heart Means loosing your mind But love Is like a journey To the unknownAnd sorrow in secret Soothes the pain Of love ~Kilay~ |
Highway to the gravesWhy does this way to love a man Seem to be right Even though it leads to death Can I not StopWith my atrocious ways Can I not see That death is the destiny of life. .It is said that one heart Is connected to many lives But your heart binds me To my beauteous death..Why does engraving your name On my heart, bring pain to it. .Though I do not search for it Why does my heart harden At the sound of your voice Is to hate, not to hate And to love, not to love When your heart is a highway to the graves ~Kilay~ |
Am I alive? I'm trying to make sense Of what this could mean.. But the more think.. The more sit here numb... Am alive or simply just breathing  Nothing seems as red Or as joyful  Or as painful as it did I feel like a black and white facsimile Of my former colorful self  What is the joy of life When my smile says I'm happy .. but .. my heart... Tells a different story  Is it possible that hope Had mended and broken my heart Right inside of me  Can i possiby make sense Of what this could mean..?  Am alive Or am simply just breathing  ~Kilay~     |
Am I alive? I'm trying to make sense Of what this could mean.. But the more think.. The more sit here numb... Am alive or simply just breathing  Nothing seems as red Or as joyful  Or as painful as it did I feel like a black and white facsimile Of my former colorful self  What is the joy of life When my smile says I'm happy .. but .. my heart... Tells a different story  Is it possible that hope Had mended and broken my heart Right inside of me  Can i possiby make sense Of what this could mean..?  Am alive Or am simply just breathing  ~Kilay~     |