What is This?

Cylcone

Confusion,
Depression,
Illusions,
Suppression.

To die,
To live,
To exist,
To simply belong.

Love,
Hate,
Anger,
Tears.

Freedom;
To fly,
And never stop!

To reminice;
Looking forward,
Never back.

But it isn't that easy
With all this going on inside!

You are the best,
But by far the worst.

No...

What is worse?
This cyclone of emotions,
The screams,
Or the inner commotions?

All I seek...
is PEACE.

I Dream

I dream of a mystical world
Where this illness doesn't touch me.
Where my mind may be free.
Where there is only one me;
Not five, four or three.

I dream of a mystical world
Where it all goes away.
Where my mind goes astray.
Where people value what I say.

I dream of a mystical world
Where the four of me are gone,
Not all part of one,
Fighting to be undone.

I dream of a mystical world
Where me, they, and we
Can be different entities;
At last forever free.

I dream of a mystical world where I may be
Who ever I may wish to be.
To see whatever I may wish to see.
Not what may behoove they, them, and we;
But to do whatever may for once
Please, the one and only, me.

You Are This Void Inside Of Me

You are this void inside of me
That keeps me coming back
This pain that tears me far apart
Yet still I remain intact

I don't know what to be no more
As the pain slowly sinks in,
So many things I wish to say
Yet know not where to begin.

I want you to be over this
For I know I've learned enough,
None of this had to do with you
Why must you be so tough?

You can't say you don't miss me
Or lie and say you don't care,
We've gone through all the good and bad
This treatment isn't fair.

My heart aches when I think of you
It hurts so much I cry,
How could you just give up on me
And leave me here to die?

You are this void inside of me;
This dark and empty hole,
These emotions racing out of control,
This yearning that lingers in my soul.

Still I pretend that I'm okay
And try to just move on,
But without you...

Finish Me

 The Silence,
The Beauty,
The never ending thoughts.
The breeze,
The voices,
The endless list of want.
The living,
The dead,
What may the difference be?
The excitement,
The sorrow,
Which may this world most see?
Screaming,
Yelling,
Torture of hate;
Why can't they see,
This forever maddened state?
Let it go,
Stop this insanity!
Don't let me hear,
Don't let me see!
I am tired of bearing with your burden of sorrow.
You bring it upon us and think not of it twice.
Hateful words,
And they come out without distaste.
Shoot like daggers,
Stab my very soul.
Tears of blood,
And you care not at all.
I seek my refuge,
But that refuge is gone.
For now silence is just as bad,
As your stabbing words.
No longer are there good thoughts;
There's nothing left ...

Wash Away

 O tears thou art so close to me,
How dare thee leave my blessed soul!
You fall away ever so freely,
Leaving me as if you no longer need me.
You taint the ground I walk upon,
As if to have no shame.

How dare thee!
Why must you torment me so,
By having me follow your dark path.
I do not wish to have those memories come to mind,
Why must this past you unkindly unwind?

Blessed tears of blood you soulless being!
Staining the innocence I once had upon me.
Glorifying yourself as if you were greater...

I wash away your mark,
As if I were to hide it.
This terror inside of me ,
That lets me not live.

Wash away,
Wash away,
Wash away clean,
So that to the naked eye,
Yshall never be seen.

Wash away,
Wash away,
Wash away!
DONE!

So that to others my sin,
Shall forever,
SEEM NONE!

Still Nothing Else Matters

 January 20, 2011 3:30PM

I knew you thought of me today,
In this very instant in fact.
I felt you in my soul;
I felt you right beside me,
For a moment almost deep inside me…
For a moment I felt myself go through a withdrawal,
Just missing your tender touch.
For one lustful moment I remembered,
How you once looked at me so religiously;
And how at your side nothing else mattered.
I loved how when you touched me time froze
And then time went faster then light all at once.
I knew the intimacy then
Was one of a kind.
I know you thought of me today
Cause I felt my body clench instantly at the thought,
And I shivered when I imagined your touch…
Nothing but you,
Ever made me feel this.
Nothing but you,
So powerful,
And even now without you gone,
Still Nothing else matters.

What is This?

 If the stars were aligned for us to be one,
And the planets themselves made it be true,
Why does it not feel so?
For all the times of true happiness,
The worst seem to have come.
Every day I fear even more so,
That your love I shalt not have.
No longer do you seem sincere;
No longer is the love there.
At times I feel like we will be together forever,
But then there are times
When our days seem almost numbered.
There are days when your anger,
Makes me want to simply give up;
To simply end it all,
And to live up to a life with no love.
There are times I wish to numb all the pain,
By simply ending my own existence;
Hoping that that summer land awaits me,
And that there I will find what I
For so long wished to have.
My goodness!
There are times when I feel so dumb,
For thinking of such stupidities .
Because in th...

A Heart of Stone

 All is just dark
And the wires run wild,
Shocks run through me
And kills all desire.

I wish I could replace this heart
With one of hard cold stone
Just to have a chance
Of never feeling this again.

Emotions are menace,
Intentions gone wrong,
Mentality thinks
Of what was once us is gone.

But no longer do we wait for long
To replace this heart and make it of stone;
We must have this feeling be gone.

Love from desire
To the one I admire;
Love made from lust,
And it all turned to dust.

My feelings, so mixed;
Wish it all could be fixed,
Never feel this love,
Wish it all be reversed.

Wish to never feel,
Make all emotions unreal,
Wish never once I kissed her lips,
Wish never once her I missed.

Wish never once to have laid my eyes on her,
Wish never my heart to her have surrendered....