100
I wrote him a note
giving him my heart
but he stomped, kicked, and jumped on it
when he tore the note apart
He said he wasn't looking
but of course that was a lie
because he gave my friend his number
as I stood by
I thought he was different
but he's just like the rest
looking at my size
instead of my chest
Not at my breast
but at my heart
that pure little thing
that he ripped apart
But looking at me
you would think my heart is whole
because I've been pretending
since so long ago
I've dealt with it all my life
boys caring more about their reputation than me
that I don't even think I'll ever be happy
because being happy has a fee
That fee is paid in pounds
pounds that I have to lose
before I can even wish for a guy to like me
before I can wish they knew
The girl I am inside
the one just dying to come out
but how could she ever show her face
when I have so much doubt
doubt that they'll even really see me
doubt that they'll care
doubt that they'll even hear me
doubt that life will become fair
I know I can't live in the dark
but I don't want to look at myself
because what I see in the mirror
have only made me wept
I wish I had self-confidence
I wish I wasn't insecure
I wish I had self-esteem
I wish I could open that door
The door to the future
when I'm skinny and beautiful
where I'm not feeling sorry for myself
and crying on the floor
I hope that future will become the present
and I'll become happy
but for now all I hope is
someone will love me
