Beautiful Suicide

Train

The thought of the strategically placed fixtures within the train cart intrigued her for she was infatuated with the crowded  seats and inhabited corners. She was moved with the swaying of the train and the uneasy movements that came with being unbalanced. Her imagination ran frantically, as she sought the secret morse codes of the electronic scripts that hinted at an uncharted destination. But, the ill-mannered facial expressions and gawking of the eyes, along with the contaminated notion of supposedly friendly gestures became that constant reminder of what she will spend the rest of her life running from. Stand clear of the closing doors please...

Seed

To the tree that once grew
Who's seed was planted within the dirt's womb 
You were, born into sin and shaped in iniquity
You longed for protection and room to grow 
So, I allowed your roots to soak up the stream and spread like wildfire in your soil 
For I knew you needed food for your core 

But,  you scarcely sowed your own seed in the darkest soil 
Only to have your stock take root on earth 
And, be carried like stubble in a storm 
Because you had no firm root nor belief, you let temptation swept you away 
And, led your branches astray 

Enticed by the unknown, the burdens of life weighed you down and flatten your limbs
They would curl up at the sight of the leaves left behind 
For you knew that one leaf of sin would decompose back into your soul
So, you swayed with the wind and tried your hardest not to let the gust blow them...

His Name

I can't recall ever uttering the words dad-dad, much less ma-ma

I always called my mother by her name

It wasn't a sign of disrespect because she and I both knew it was the same

Unlike most mothers, mine never scold me for it

Instead she was flattered and gave me nothing but praise

I must have counted to 10 too many times

Because I said my mothers name passed the number 99

So much so, that my fathers name became an imaginary number

I saw my fathers imaginary self for the first time

When he rang the bell a little after nine with his obscure shadow in front of mine

And, in my little space between the door

I stood and called out my mother in a quiet roar

Here I was standing by a man who somehow knew my name

And, all I could say was, "this man, this man was standing in my way"

It was then I knew I was a fatherless child

Hanging Tree

You embraced your sins and gave them permission to intertwined with your roots

And, caused the darkness to engulf your soul

You sought pleasures of this world, and allowed the Devils noose to restrict your flow

He left your ghastly body as it swayed in the sun, with your feet slightly dangled above ground

Are you, are you hanging from a tree?

Askew Perception

The lights flickered, as if the bulb was writing its own morse code. In frustration you tapped  your pen in a maelstrom of emotions, loosing sight of the connection.

Gesture

I do not endure in that gaze

That glimpse he bestows upon me when he says 'I love you'

The impression that tells me, I mean so much more to him than I know

That look petrifies me

For I know, that I will never give him the same gesture in return

Numb

Our crutches restricts us 

Leaves us numb to an empathic touch 

Cripples our veins

Notes

Red fingertips dab between many frets, 

Here you will find my thoughts outlined

Here you will find my thoughts outlined

Loneliness

This loneliness holds its victims