Pretended

The Reason Why I Love You

Back on June 7th 2014 I felt all alone….

Felt like I was fighting life on my own…

Felt the weakest I ever felt…

Wondering why this was the hand I was dealt..

When I no longer seen the light at the end…

When the smile and personality I portrayed was all pretend…

Fighting demons on the inside and out..

More tearful and sleepless nights than I can count…

Contemplating life or death…

Thinking about how I’d take my last breath…

Then June 8th came and that all turned for the best…

You came into my life and helped me carry some hurt from my chest…

Before my life felt on uneven…

You came in and gave life reason…

Gave me the power to continue breathing…

When I was at my weakest you were there to make me strong…

When I felt all alone..

You were there to tell me I was...

Wondering

I Wonder What Happen To Us..
It Left In Such A Rush..
Are Main Issue Was Trust..
Seperation Wasnt A Must..
Was Willing To Work It Out..
Willing To Figure What It Was About..
But You Just Left With Nothing To Say..
So Day By Day...
I Pray..
Hoping Once Again You Come My Way..
Maybe It Will But Hasnt Happened Yet..
Just The Thought Leaves My Face Wet..
Making Me Feel Regret...
Just Wishing I Could Fix This..
Its You I Miss..
Those Lips I Kiss..
Those Hands I Hold..
Those Words I Was Told..
They Never Get Old..
The Body I Held When I Was Cold..
That Beauty That Was Pure Gold..
That Smile That Made My Day Shine..
That Last Day When You Were Mine..
I Didnt Know I Was Running Out Of Time..
The Thought Never Ran Through My Mind...
Now Your Heart And Mind Left Me Behind..
It Just Decided To Vanish..
Ho...

Uncoordinated and Twisted

Through Time

Let Me Take You Back To June...

When My Life Seemed Hectic And Out Of Tune..

When I Felt Stuck And With No Way Out..

What Was About To Transpire I Would've Never Thought About...

My Boy Hit Me Up At Work Told Me To Come Through After..

Told Him I Was Tired But In The Back Of Mind I Kind Of Wanted Some Laughter..

I Replied With I'll Let You Know How I Feel..

Body Felt Weak I Was Starving Cause I Skipped A Meal..

Just Wanted To Go Home, Eat, And Fall Asleep..

Cause I Felt Like I Haven't Slept In A Week..

But As My Shift Went Along...

I Started To Convince Myself To Go But Not For Too Long..

So After Work I Hopped In My Car, Got Gas And I Was On My Way....

What Is Love

I Hear A Lot Of People Say It But What Is Love...
That Is A Word I Don't Know The Meaning Of...
Every Time I Try To Feel The Emotion...
My Life Stops Moving In Motion...
Or She Just Drops Everything..
Like I Never Meant Anything...
That Is Okay That Is Why I Have No Heart..
It Was Ripped Up At The Very Start...
So As Everyone Explains Their Love Lives...
Ill Write About Knives...
Or How They Are Involved..
How Depression Is A Problem I Never Solved...
How Stress Is My Closest Friend...
How Happiness Is Something I Have To Pretend..
Possibly Till The End...
Or Close To It...
But Loving Someone ??? How You Suppose To Do It...
What Does It Even Mean...
Cause I Never Felt It Even In A Dream..
Or In My Imagination..
All I Ever Felt Was Separation...
Separation Of My Heart From My Chest..
So I Guess Ill Lay My Heart To Rest..
S...

Coming Soon..

New Poem Coming Later Tonigt...

I Need Ventilation So Im Going To Write...

There Is A Mistake That I Made..

That Makes Me Think My Relationship Is Going To Fade...

So Stay Tuned To Read My Recent Mistake....

A Mistake That Is Keeping Me Awake ...

Cheated

Always Said You Would Never But You Cheated..
Use To Ride Passenger Now Your Back Seated..
Your Love I Dont Need It..
So Beat It..
I Always Said I Would Never Repeat It..
But I Guess It Just Repeated..
Now Im Heated..
So Im Just Going To Let It Loose..
Imma Hang This Poem Where Is The Noose..
See You Did Me Dirty...
You Was Always Flirty..
But Never Thought Anything Of It..
I Put Everything Above It..
But I Shouldve Expected The Unexpected..
Once I Felt Neglected..
I Shouldve Known Something Was Wrong..
It Was Going On So Long..
But I Just Tried To Stay Strong..
Always Said It Was Phase..
But Now Im Left In A Maze..
Been In Here For A Few Days..
Hurting In So Many Ways..
But Its Better If I Just Let It Out..
And Get It Out..
I Never Thought You Were That Type Of Person..
I Thought You Were Different Another ...

How I Still Feel

Fight After Fight..
Long Night After Long Night..
Lungs Continuously Became Tight..
Always Told You I Was Alright..
That Was Never True..
I Just Always Lied To You..
I Just Didnt Wanna Put You Through It..
I Would Just Sit..
While You Thought Everything Was Alright..
I Just Didnt Wanna Fight..
I Just Wanted Everything to Be Fine...
I Didnt Want To Lose You As Mine..
But That Happened Regardless..
When You Left I Felt Heartless..
Felt Like My Batteries Died..
Felt Like A Malfunction Inside..
Never Did I Ever Get Repaired..
I Always Loved You I Always Cared..
To Be Completely Honest I Still Do..
Yea I Know Everything I Been Through..
I Shouldve Been Gone..
Shouldve Been Moved On..
I Just Dont See Myself Advancing..
The Past Is Where Im Glancing..
On What We Once Had..
Whether It Was Happy Or Sad..
Wheth...

Always Night

Days Come And Days Go...
But I Still Dont Know..
I Still Dont Understand..
As I Look In My Right Hand..
Wondering What Happen To Yours..
What Happen To All The Open Doors..
Its Like You Closed Them One By One...
You Took Away My Sun..
Even The Stars And Moon..
I Just Hope You Come Back Soon..
Cause My Whole Sky Is Black..
All Day And Everyday Its Like That..
Not One Sign Of Light..
Only Signs Of Night..
It Dont Feel Right..
Im Always In Bed..
Cause Its Always Night In My Head..
I Feel Like The Clock Is A Lie..
It Says 7:00 A.M But There In No Sun In My Sky..
It Feels Like My World Is Not Revolving..
My Life Is Desolving..
Night After Night..
No Sight Of Light..
Not Even A Ray Of Sun..
Feels Like My Life Is Done..
You Was The One...
The One Who Was The Sun..
Who Was The Moon And The Stars..

You Know Who You Are

Just Cause We No Longer Talk Everyday..

Doesnt Mean I Wont Help You Anyday..

Yea It Been A Minute..

But I Will Admit It..

I Miss Those Talks Those Nights..

But What I Dont Miss Are The Fights..

Are Last Fight Seperated Us For Good..

I Would Fix That If I Could..

And You Know I Would..

But I Actually Thought If I Should..

I Mean Yea We Have History..

But At The Point You Seemed Like A Mystery..

No Longer Did I Know Who You Were..

It All Seemed Like A Blurr.

You Just Started Acting Strange..

You Heart Fell Out Of Range..

I No Longer Could Wipe Aways Your Tears..

And Help You Overcome Your Fears..

Every Night I Think

Where Did Are Friendship Sink..

Why Did It All Disappear In A Blink..

Now It Seems Like I No Longer Exist..

Is There Something I Missed..

You Threw Me For A Curve Threw Me For A Twist..