Phenomenal Paris

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Dear Mama

CATEGORY

Dear Mother, Let me start off by saying, my apology goes out to you, If I have ever caused you pain. I was unaware of my foolishness ways. I forgive your actions that caused me and my brothers to be scarred. Let me get straight to the point, I have always felt I am the child you regret. I felt this way because of the things you use to say. Like the time you looked me in my face and told me, you should have given me away. Why me? Was it because I was your only girl? Was it because, I am your walking light skinned reflection, I am you that you wasn't ready to face? I was 9 years old when you left us, no goodbye, no speech, no mommy loves you or I will be back soon. One day you were here, then the next day you disappeared. I didn't understand why until the family was talking. My brothers and I found out our mother was a crackhead. I use to fear seeing your face on the tv with a caption that reads, woman found dead in the street. One year later, there you were standing in my Grandmother's kitchen with some other little girl calling you mom. How can you love a kid you didn't birth more than the one that came out of your womb? Why was I never good enough? Still to this day, I am bother by that scene. I didn't have you to share my stories with, or talk to you about the boy I fallen in love with. I didn't get to have that mother-daughter bond. Ten years later, I see you for the first time and a long time, and to my surprise, I didn't have hatred towards you. You told me you were proud of the strong woman I have become then you go behind my back, run your mouth, and say I think I'm to much and so on, so on. I apologized for not being the one to hold my tongue and express my thoughts, you needed to know. I apologize for being their for my two little brothers and trying to be the mother they never had. You should be thanking me for taking on your responsibilities. I use to be ashamed of you and for that I apologize. I pity you because you're missing out on your six blessings. If your only knew the talents, gifts and success that the kids you birth have, your mind would be blown away. But I thank you for neglecting me because I just may not have been the woman I am today. My brothers may not have been good fathers, college grad, ex marine, all star and honor roll student at 13. So once again I thank you for not being the mother we thought we needed. Your daughter, You wish you never had

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COMMENTS


		love_supreme says: Good write. poems by this commentor Suicide mY iNTENTIONS Teasers
		Phenomenal Paris says: thank you poems by this commentor Dirty Laundry Say Something Forever Tomorrow
		RonnieL says: Wow. You expressed your feelings on this one. Pretty deep. Great expression. poems by this commentor Thoughts For The Wicked Days Of Dawn Trapped

OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Phenomenal Paris

She

Her hair was part of her nature and soft as a cloud. Radiant like the sun. What a beautiful glow she beholds? The earth bows at her feet. For she is a mighty Queen. She brings light into darkness as if she is a descendant of the moon. She stand tall and strong side by side with the trees. Yet, she lays with the flowers because she too, is fragile and sweet. She is a gift from Heaven to Earth. She is the essence of life.

Angry Black Woman

I am an angry black woman because

I do not

I will not tolerate disrespect

I think I am all of that because

I refuse to settle for less

I am under valued

unappreciated

The most hated

Yet the most imitated

Seen as intimidating

My strength make me a bÃ—Ã—ch

For I rather stand up

before I ever lay down to be fÃ—Ã—ked without consent

by this world ever again

I wear my crown proudly

unapologetically

I refuse to live by the image society painted of me

Yelling, I AM QUEEN

my throne will never again be stripped away from me

I will forever protect my king

that's just the soldier in me

I am a Goddess

that's just the God within me

I am strong

I am intellectual

I am inspiration

I am nourishing

I am the blessing from Heaven

placed on the earth to birth the g...

Know Your Worth

Silly, silly girls

blinded by the images painted

by the world

believing Photoshop is the new beautiful

bad es get chose

not knowing bad es are place on a leash

until he feels like throwing her a bone

Half a man is better

than no man at all

Becoming just an object

Reducing your standards

for the guys with no standards

Providing him with all of you

just to be used for his pleasure

Know your worth

You are a Queen

place on this Earth to be

loved, cherished, and nourished

by a King

Make him fight for a spot in your heart

never allow him to steal it.

Be inspirational

the woman unrevealed

the woman who can be heard

and not just seen

the woman o...

Spiritually Connected

My body, he wants me to submit.
His last name, I want him to commit.
I don't want to open my legs to a man that isn't my husband.
He believes sex is just a expression of our love.
To me, that's no longer good enough.
I want us to have a Covenant with the Lord.
I want to become one with him, knowing I'm not doing so in sin.

He takes this as rejection, and negligence.
I wish he was more understanding.
Yes I love him, no question about it.
But my love for God is more important.
My desire for him is greater than he thinks.
I want him so bad, my body aches.
He needs no invitation.
But now I'm trying to live my life straight.
For the sake of my soul.

I want him but in the right way.
I want this...

Bitterness

I don't want to be bitter because of my past. I want to be able to love, trust and forgive. I don't want to be on the defense everytime someone new cross my path. I want to be the loving woman deep down inside, I am. The woman that was once lost and broken at the hands of men. I want this bitterness to end. I want my healing process to begin. I want God to give me peace. I want to be free of all the things that's weighting me down. I want to be happy and not fake a smile. I no longer want to feel like I'm dying but living again. I lost myself, I want to find Paris again. I want to conquer this bitterness.

RESPECT

You blab about respect, respect, show me some respect. What for? You don't respect yourself! You call yourself a bitc#, a hoe, you let the world know, you the baddest, on Instagram in your throng or panties. Respect is a gift, not something to be demanded. People go by what you put on display, so who fault is it, you was labeled a hoe? Dude want to be treated like a respectable man. Yet every time people see you, you're sagging below your a$$, your hand on your d!ck, you can't even use a proper sentence. So you mad when classified as a thug. Take a really good look at how you carry yourself. Stop belittling yourself, trying to impress! Learn to self love, then will come self respect. Before you expect to have respect, first analyze yourself!

Get Your Act Right!!!

I'm scared to bring kids into this world. People smoking to make a fashion statement. Everybody want to be a thug, not educated. The club is the new church, everybody getting their twerking on. Paying $100 for a pair of jeans, $200 for a bundle of weave. A victim of material things. More focused on buying the latest Jay 's, less concern if the rent is pay. This world is so pathetic. Our minds, are omitted! To ignorance we submit it! People when are you going to pay attention! Wake the hell up! No one is going to help us but us! Stop blaming society for your f*ck ups. Take responsibility for your wealth. Stop looking for hand outs. Dang, aren't you tired of being assed out? I think your brains been whacked out! Stop trying to ball out! No time to be in these streets wildin out. IT'S TIME TO GET OUR ACT RIGHT!

Ambition

My stomach is touching my back. I haven't eaten in days. I'm sitting in class not able to concentrate. My mama is never home, she say money is to be made. My dad went out for food, that's been years now. My mama many boyfriends like to touch and feel. I tried telling my mama but she don't give a damn. I made up in my mind, this isn't the life I want to live forever. I'm determined to make something of myself. I'm hungry for success. No lights, sleepless nights due to hunger pain is my motivation. I want to eat steak and lobster one day. I'm tired of seeing men go upside my mother, my aunt, my grandmother's heads. Lord I want to be the one to break the cycle. My friends call me lame because I prefer to hit the library than a club, faded out in a book than on some drugs, cherish my body than let some little boy have as his personally use. I refuse to live in the ghetto all my life, I deserve better than this. My education is my way out this mess. The sky is the limit. My dreams are en...

I am not ashamed... I am Black

I guess I'm not black. Because my a$s not fat. Have long colorful weave down my back. My hair don't have naps. My skin is lighter than the average. I rather eat a burrito than fried chicken and watermelon. I don't have a poor education. My sentences do not constant of profanity. I have graduated High School and a College degree in pursuit. I rather work before collecting welfare checks. Why must you be offended when there is a book in my hand? What's wrong, never saw a black person read before? Surely, I'm must be a mixed breed. I once shown a teacher a photo of my family and me. The first thing she asked, "Are you adopted?" Why are people so stereotypic? Why must all black people have dark skin? Why must I love greasy food? Why must I be ghetto and loud mouth? Why must we all be poor, living off the government? Why is it so hard to believe? This is me! This is me! My predecessors were bought here in chains. My people fight for their rights. My people always b...

Oh Right... You are Saved

I love it when people turn a new leaf, then start passing judgment towards me. You shouldn't be shackin up with a man, you shouldn't do this or that. One thing about me, I live life the way I see please. God knows my heart, He isn't done with me just yet. I am a working progress. Sometimes I do things I shouldn't do, act a certain way, I have a reckless mouth. I don't try to cover up the truth. This is who I am. These Christian people sometimes trip me out. Acting like they have it all together, forgetting who they were 5 years ago, better yet 5 minutes ago. They are the main ones in the church falling out saying, Oh thank you Lord, when church over they are gossiping with their friends. Oh right but you're saved. You never sin, you been holy all your life. Oh now all of a sudden, you have an opinion on my way of living, must I mention, the type of lifestyle I was raised into? Do you need a reality check? I would gladly point out all the things that were around, that shouldn't surro...