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I have too higher standards! Or at least that's what they say,
You have crisis after crisis, the pain won't go away,
Cram your life in 50 minutes, we're running late today,
My taxes pay your wages, till I'm finished, you will stay!
I have apparent competence but a bag of sh*t inside,
You'll always see me laughing, nothing really makes me cry,
I'm ignorant to emotion even when close people die,
My only source of peace comes from drinking and getting high.
See I never had the lessons our parents teach us when we're kids,
From one extreme to the other, no grey area exists,
Overwhelmed and undervalued, somedays I feel like ,
Post traumatic stress is obvious, neglectful parents created this!
Nobody takes me seriously although they really should,
My skill at reading people and morality is good,
I make judgements in a second, every woman - do ya think ya could?
I'm not superficial or a slut, my mind was never understood.
See when you're looking at your children, they speak - you don't reply,
Proves a one way street relationship, not listened to was I,
When something meaningless will happen, don't shun your child for want to cry,
This creates an anti social mind, a mental health un defined.
I look scary when I'm angry, vulnerable when sad,
Nature with some nurture made my emotions bad,
With a crazy ***ed up mother and a monster for a dad,
It's not really surprising a borderline personality's been had.
Every emotion is as intense as the first time you fall in love,
Regular patients think of suicide or relief is gained through cut,
See when I was 12, around my peers, in season was every drug,
Alcohol and ecstasy were my blanket full of numb.
Since this revelation DBT is what I've gained,
I feel the same emotion but the way I think has changed,
You can write this diagnosis off, I won't always be the same,
This journey will never let me forget exactly how far I came,
My empathy is ***ed, I can be self righteous to the core,
I embarrass myself when angry, my dented pride is what hurts me more,
Meditation my salvation to a world emotion free,
What does it mean anyway? A borderline personality?
My fears will be released I could become the perfect person,
Mediation my solution to the memories still hurtin,
My temper? Well it's stabilised, talk myself out of distress,
Identify the problem quick - I won't be such a mess,
Meaningless sex, heated situations, an inability to say no,
Got me in many a danger id not have had if my mental health was known,
I don't know why I'm wired wrong, or why all this happened to me,
But I'm not here for the beginning or the end, it's all about the journey.
Copyright2013
