I am not your Barbie Doll

CATEGORY

romance

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I am not your Barbie doll. My body is not made of cold plastic and paint. I do not have the optimal bust size or the skinny legs that I have desperately tried to achieve. Nor do I have the light skin with the silky hair. I can also not be molded into this person. I am a woman with small breast, brown skin, thick thighs, and a big derriere. Even though I do not fit the American standard of beauty, I have men who quiver at the thought of being with me intimately. I have loved you and I might always love you but you make me feel miserable. You make me feel as if I am incomplete, easily replaceable, and uglier than a battered woman. You make me feel insecure and inferior when any white women or light skinned girl walks by, they elicit hate in my heart because I know if I looked like them, you would finally love me. You wouldn’t be so cruel to me and harsh judgments would not pass your lips. My intellectual achievements would not be undermined and you would finally see my true beauty inside and out. But I am here to tell you, I am not her! I am a proud brown skinned woman with dangerous curves. I am intelligent with a heart of gold no matter what you say. I have known myself for 23 years while you have only known me for a mere year. So now that I finally know who I am, I must find someone who sees these things and is not easily distracted by skin tone or hair texture. I have loved you and I might always love you but I am not your Barbie doll.