Disillusioned Memories

So Strike Up The Match

 And it starts with a spark
A hidden stolen stare
And we both look away quickly
But it's too late
It's already started...

Prom 2006

 Eyes meet
Old feelings rushing back
Pained expression on my face
Tears settling in the corners of my eyes

Look at you across the room
Our eyes meet
You're looking too
The moment freezes
The music slows
And just as suddenly as it happens
It stops
And you look away
And I shake off the feeling
Until I arrive home
And I settle into bed
With only one thought on my mind
(I'm falling again)

White Flags Turn Black

 I finally gave into you
You're such a convincing soul
How could I have been so stupid
I have failed myself again
A pose here
A flash there
And I expect you to love me again
But then you ignore me
Walk right past me
Don't look at me
I trusted you...
How could I have been so stupid?
So foolish...
So.
Foolish.

A Trust Shattered

 You told me once to never let go
To hold on forever
You'll always be there
If ever I need you

I told you always
I'd keep you in my heart
I'd never forget you
That you meant everything to me

You told me once
To leave me alone
You don't care anymore
That you never did
To just let go

So now, when I need you
Are you going to be there
I kept my word
Every spoken promise and vow
Why couldn't you keep yours?

About That

 Acceptance
In the face of the pain
I now know you will never again be with me
You will never hold me in your arms the way you did before.
And never will I be able to tell you I love you and hear a response
And although normally I would attempt to change your mind
This time, I am trying to understand
So we'll talk like we used to
Before I could be called yours
And all memories will be considered off-limits
And all heartbreak will be forgotten
And we'll pretend the last year never happened.
I'll smile when I see you and I'll keep friendly conversation going
And if for some reason,
A forbidden topic arises
We will turn our heards,
Sigh,
And change the subject
Not because we want to
But because that's simply what we have to do
But as one last thought
You were right,
What you said that night
With me,
Everythin...

Masquerades On Summer Days

 A simple task
A simple line
And I suddenly can't breathe.
I need to get out of here.
But there's no where to go.

"Your clothes never match."
She said.
And it was the same line that caused you
To choose our song.
But that was so long ago
I didn't think you remembered.
But when she said it, no one responded
And we chanced a glance at each other.
Just a glance.

While I saw mockery in your eyes
I know you saw hurt in my eyes

(You wouldn't look at me again all day.)

So, are we really friends.
You don't talk to me like we're friends.
You don't act as if we're friends.
When you end a relationship,
Everything ends.
And the dumper takes everything
While the dumpee gets nothing.

Is my whole life a masquerade of what used to be
And what I wish could be again?

If Only For This Moment

 Twilight wishes
On midsummer's eve
Fairies flutter
And angels sing
As we dance
Upon a moonlit field
Of fireflies and golden roses

A magical symphony
Stikes up a mesmorizing chord
And stars fall from the sky
An enchanting moment between two people
And it lasts a lifetime
But only takesa second
And I suddenly melt into you
Two lovers moving as one
Dancing a captivating waltz
Under the glittering expanse
Of magical darkness

With The Children

 The smile on your face
Your voice so soft and sweet
I want to capture this moment
Relive it everyday
Always remember
For I'll never see you this way again
A soft hint of innocence
And a sparkle in your eyes
Seen before so long ago
My sweet Lover
Watching you as you build the blocks
Much like I built up my walls
And then preparing to "demolish" them
Much like you tore mine down
So wild
So independant
Such a carefree spirit
You capture the essense of a child in your 17 year old body
And the kids all love you
Look up to you and adore you
And they just met you
I have never before seen you treat anyone
The way that you treat them
And I can't seem to take my eyes off of you

And then you caught me watching you
Raised your eyebrows then forgot
And went back to your fairytale land
Of castles and...

And You Were There

 Almost as though you knew I needed it
You talked to me today
Wandered past me
And whispered my name
I couldn't believe it
You come to me at the best times
Yet also at the worst
The rope had reached it's tattered end
But now
Before my eyes
It began to rebuild itself.

Walls I had just rebuilt
Came tumbling down
And I felt so confused
Unsure of what to do
I wanted to cry
Yet I wanted to laugh
So mixed up
Feelings contradict themselves
And no one could understand

Just when I thought I could make it on my own

You were there...

Stone Hearts

 I feel as though my eyes are burning
Aching from tears I won't allow myself to cry
And then I continue reading
Oh the things she says
But what you say back...

If I wanted to
I would tell her
But...
I don't want to lose you

Call her names you never called me
And make her believe you love her
And I'll pretend it doesn't bother me

I'll turn my heart to stone
So you can't hurt me
So you can't break me
So I can forget everything you say to me
Stop me from falling again

I can't hate this
I can't take it
All I wanted was to apologize
And what I get is making plans
And secret phone calls
Behind her back
Behind everyone's back
And it doesn't affect you
But it hurts me
Though I refuse to let you know
Because I know I shouldn't

But

I still love you
And it hurts m...