I'm only 15

Ode to the Monsters and People

Ahhhh

It doesn’t effect me anymore

Ahhhhh

You can’t take it away

My heart is drowned in it

I despise you

I can’t stand you

You betrayed me

Now I hate you

You did this to me

You broke me

But it’s okay

Because I only feel pain and hatred

No happiness

No love

But I find a weird comfort

In the demon inside of me

You left me alone but they came to my rescue

You treated me bad They treated me good

There is a big difference between You and They

I'm only 15

I am just a charity ward
I am just a stupid toy that you throw away
Everyone uses me
Everyone beats on me
But I stand tall
With no reason
No reason at all
If only if I can cave in and break
If only I can self destruct
I would be okay
I would be happy
…..
I’m only 15
…..
And I already want to die
I want to take my last breath
And let that fire burn out
Why does everyone use me?
Why does everyone beat on me?
With no reason?
No reason at all?
Am I just a stupid toy that you throw away?
Am I just a charity ward?
And I’m only 15

They Destroyed Me

 Their words are destroying me
Even though I try to push them away
It’s becoming way too hard for me
Slowly my
Thoughts
Strength
Happiness is decaying away
I’m starting to have thoughts
And they are not pretty
The thoughts are just as bad as their words
I lied to myself saying
“No one would care.”
And with that everything went way.

Unbreakable

 I self destruct

I bend and break

It's alot to take in

But I try

I stay strong

I stand tall

I'll take all your hits

I'll take all your insults

But it's okay

Because I know

 I can win this fight

I just have to smile and laugh

I have to walk without worries

Just so they can stop

But they don't stop

They keep beating on me

Harder

And

Harder

But I am unbreakable

I keep going strong

They may see me in the locker room

They me say my thighs and wrists

They can laugh at what they see

But it's okay because it makes them wonder why I'm not dead

I'm not dead because if I go out

That means they win

I won't let them win

This is just like a game

And little by little I am slowly winning

I'm winning by living everyday

I'm living ...

123...

1cut

2 cuts

3 cuts more

It was just the hinge on the door

4 cuts

5 cuts

6 cuts more

It’s okay I’m just a little sore

7 cuts

8 cuts

9 cuts more

On the tenth cut I’ll be lying on the floor.