One thing I have learnd is that you cant let the rage take you.
At least I think I have learned it. When defeat and doubt set in, there are very few ideas that I won't entertain.
Its like sitting in a dark room with your eyes fixed and stirring a bowl of molasses, eventually something has to give.
Either you walk out of that room a better person or you just keep stirring.
That is the best way I know how to explain it.
I just cant let it take me.