Self Portrait

Sail Away

Dreaming With A Broken Heart

Its hard to dream with a broken heart cause when you fall asleep all you see is whats been taken and broken apart and you dont see recovery all you see is the scars.

Dreams turn into nightmares, long peaceful sleep turn into only a couple hours that's if youre lucky to get any at least.

You can feel your soul cry out and the tears ,it dawns on you like you been carrying heavy weights for the past few years.

Feel your heart being broken , and those hurtful words they get repeatly respoken. Seeing the scene of  what caused the heartbreak and I can barely breath whenever my eyes wake.

It's like crying in your sleep, vivid dark pictures and fearful screams, You rather go to another place you just dont know where that place will be. You try to escape but like a caged bird you cant be free.

Dreaming with a broken heart, you dont see the sun cause youre stuck in the dark. It hurts to dream with a broken heart but the waking ...

Apology

Mommie Im so sorry for all the wrongful thigs I did and all the hurtful things I said, I know you were just trying your best and I just made things more complicated.

And Im sorry for putting you thru hell and wasting your money and time but I was young and and I wasnt acting like I had a brain or a mind.

I made so many mistakes and when it came down to the consequences ,sadly you were the one that had to pay.

But I will never forgeet all those big and special things you did for me and I feel guilty cause I treated you like a stranger on the streets

I hate to see you cry cause of the dump Sh#t I did and thought you be tripping but at first I didnt understand , maybe because of my point of view and I realized you are a mother and you were just doing what you were suppose to do.

By making sure I go to school, we use to always argue whenever I broke the rules. I was a wild child that didnt like being told what to do ,so I always fough...

Keanna Mitchell Walker

Personal Thoughts

Days like this makes life sad , you were suppose to hold my hand and have my back..

But no it didnt go that way it changed my picture perfect imge when u up and went away.

And you never came back home so as a child i felt like i did something wrong ,of why you didnt come around and why so many bad things happen to me and i ask god was this how things were supose to be.

And i felt alone and unloved and i became overweight cause i spent more time byself and a plate.

Broken i felt like i gave my soul away just for a few tokens and i became depressed had to start taking meds hoping things would go at its best.

But thats the thing  nothing can fix a broken heart ,nothing can change a young girl learning abandonment at a early start  

And its something i carried all my life something i stayed up crying about every night so whats there to be done when u wanna end things with a gun...

Strength

How could I be strong when I am weak.

Trapped In Pain

Locked myself behind closed doors ,this world and the way they judge ,I cant take it no more.

I lived in  fear all   to long ,but i have to get  help because if i just take the knife out the wound ,everything will go all wrong.And Ill be dying to soon.

I can feel the pain they caused and they out living happily ,im on my knees praying to god asking  ,how long will i bleed.

Because when it rain ,it really rain and when i hurt i can feel the pain.

Like being stabbed with a bunch of needles and the people are holding you down.

Trying to get you clean ,but they dont know that heartbreak cant be prevented with no meds or vaccine.

I beg and I plead , the only unaswered question is when will i let myself be free.

Trapped in my consicous ,im by a pool with a bunch of people that are scared and grown looks like ima be diving in this pool all alone.

I want to spiral aroun...

IF I Could Take You Home Tonight

If given just  a small chance ,I would climb the stairway to heaven and gracefully take your hand.  

We talk and laugh and bring up all the good things we could quickly bring up in our mind.

But we must hurry ,we wasnt given alot of time.

I would be so glad that you was here ,but they told me once that in our hearts you'll always be near.

And that clock ring ,and we all get sad because we know what that mean.

And we are all back sad because we hate to see you go ,we wish we could all go up back those stairs and just dissapear in the smoke.

Along with you, But God explained he gave each of us our time , and for now it just wasnt right , he explained we have a purpose of life.

God left it as that , we watch them fly away knowing she wouldnt no longer be able to come back.

But I remember hearing this girl in my old 8th grade class explain death and she quoted Its Never A  Goodbye ...

Things I Regret The Most

I regret giving myself away to people for all the wrong reasons.

I regret causing my mother pain and stress.

I regret for giving up in school and not trying my best.

I regret  trading in my real friends for some fake friends ,I made a promice to my old best friend that I  be there until the end  and Im sorry for breaking it.

But now Im here paying for it.

I regret that I  let myself be so weak and letting no good nigg*s take advantage of me.

I hate that when things get tough I just quit and dont try , livivng my life hidden and just watch as the world past by.

I regret having sex and when my period cam late ,It was either me or the baby ,making a hard desicion I thought I never had to make.

But these regrets I will forever have taught me a lesson ,so I wont go on and make the same mistakes.

It was hard having a life and then just for it to killed ...

R.I.P 2 Alex

Only sixteen ,by looking at her pictures you would think she was living the dream.

Showing off a fake smile to hide all the pain and what hurt.

You was given hard stuff ,thats something you didnt deserve.

Your step father who raped you since you were five ,its ashamed hes the reason your no longer alive.

Nothing can explain a person to be so sick and twisted ,so evil making your life conflicted.

How he got you pregnate and rip the baby out your stomach and left you for dead in the woods and left  the baby in the back of a car.

Your story is sad with no happy ending ,but rest in peace you are finally done with all the pretending

And the hard life you were force to live in ,you are  in  peace and you no longer have be hurt ,you are now safe to sleep and dont worry god handles all the devils creeps.

I cant say why ,but maybe god saw his angel being kicked and given the value of dirt ,...