I look upon the mirror
and what a horrid view
I saw a lot or wrinkles
And a few rolls too
And when I went to turn
I look back upon the glass
All I could do was laugh
I didn’t have no ass!
My arms had wings
That should not have been there
And further inspection
had man boobs!...that was the scare!
I had no muscles
But that was no shock
I’m was very impressed
That I could see my (ha! that I was gonna say it, Huh!!!)
So I sat down with shock!
With that image still in my head
And thought Slim fast, Richard Simmons…
naah! I wouldn’t be caught dead
I bought a couple of magazines
I bought a couple of books
I went to a few websites
All of them were F@#kin Crooks
One said do this!
One said do that!
All of them said try this!
But I didn’t loose no fat
I blamed McDonald’s
I Blamed Burger King’s
I Blamed Wendy’s
For the damn Onion Rings
I blamed Pepsi
I blamed Hershey
But it was my fault
Lord have mercy!!!
I cringed at the thought
Of gaining more weight
I said Hell to the Naw!!!
It ain’t too late
Because the next time
I take a look in that glass
I gonna see my firm
Fine Black @$$!!!