No Longer Myself Pt 2

Darkest Secret

People say laughter is the best medicine...

But I rather play with my demons, so I let them in...

Just settle in...

Cause it's time to play ball no letterman..

My closet is too small, so I keep my skeletons in the attic..

They come to play when my thoughts become erratic..

They fill my mind with static...

Causing unbearable panic...

Causing me to go manic..

Thoughts become irrational...

Can't differentiate fictional and factual..

Encounters are no longer casual..

So what will laughter do..

For the constant fear that someone is after you..

I no longer know what laughter is like...

My thoughts consist of the afterlife..

Wondering if it will only work with half the knife..

Hoping that I can fit in the casket right..

So please tell me what laughter is like..

I want to live life vicariously through you cause I don't feel safe in my own...

Sneak Peek

People say laughter is the best medicine...

But I rather play with my demons, so I let them in...

Just settle in...

Cause it's time to play ball no letterman..

Sneak Peek of my new project. Let me know your thoughts

Covid

I wrote this back when Covid first started.

 You know as I read the news and see so many people dying without telling their loved ones bye. It struck fear in me that it could be me and the people that mean so much to me would never know that I loved them. It got me thinking about how I could tell them if I was to pass from this virus. So, I decided to write out a poem just in case the worst was to happen to me. I am an asthmatic so according to all the reports I am at high risk of being severely affected by this virus. Which made me worry that I would not be able to tell the ones I loved goodbye or that I love them one last time. My condolences and prayers go out to the families that have been affected by this virus.

You know what they say tomorrow is never owed..

When this virus hit we were all in the same car going down the same road..

Uncertainty and not even a glimmer of hope..

We were just advised to j...

Cold Hearted

People ask how my heart can be so cold..

Cause you begin to realize s**t as you get old...

Not everyone wants to see you succeed..

They rather see you down and out and watch your heart bleed...

Funny how they only be around when it's something they need..

But when roles become reversed they disappear like a missing person..

So ask yourself who is the only one hurtin..

Not everyone has your best interest at heart..

That may be how they portray it to start..

But as you begin to elevate and they stay the same, people switch their position...

So when your back is turned start to listen..

Cause they tell you all the s**t you wanna hear to your face...

But once your back is turned their words change pace..

They are off to the races..

Spilling your business to other peoples faces..

Too many people in your circle...

Will only hurt you...

C...

Addicted

See I Been Missing This Game... 

Like A Coke Head Missing The Caine..

I Know It Is Not The Same..

But I Get The Same Feeling...

Watching The Floor While Sitting On The Ceiling..

Like Sitting On Cloud Nine..

Coke Is Their Drug But Poetry Is Mine..

I Feign To Write Rhymes..

They Feign To Snort Lines...

Their Drug Causes Damage Mine Causes Relief..

They Do It Cause Their Addicted I Do It Cause Its My Belief..

The Withdrawals From Both Are About Equal...

I'm Withdrawing From Poetry They Withdrawing From The Needle..

Their Looking For A Fix...

I'm Looking To See What Rhyme Fits..

So If You're Asking If I'm An Addict The Answer Is Yes..

Cause It Relieves My Stress...

It Makes Me Forget The Bad And Only Think Of The Good..

This Is An Addiction I Would Never Quit Even If I Could..

Dark Days

See as of late...

My mind been in a dark place..

Wondering if I should test Mark's fate....

And walk through the park late...

Wondering if I had suicidal thoughts? Chances are great...

I'll give you 3 guesses on my thoughts lets call it a parlay..

Looked at a knife wondered if it would go through me smoother than parkay...

Guess the only way to find out is the hard way...

People say the sun comes out after a dark day...

I'm just wondering cause I been playing this on repeat like an arcade..

Days have started to blend into one..

Trying to see the end so I can know when this will be done...

Hard to fall asleep but when I do first feeling upon waking is the same...

Over and over again like a video game...

Falling asleep is death so a new life begins upon awaking..

You go throughout the day with a facade and by the end of the day it begins breaking..

This ...

R.I.P Anthony Rose (10.13.1989 - 07.21.2019)

It been a minute since I last wrote any poetry…

But something happened that was way too close to me..

I wrote poetry for fallen friends, and I hoped I wouldn’t have to do it again for some time..

Well here we are, but I got a lot of things on my mind…

Another brother has made his way to heaven way too soon..

I was at work reading Facebook it was about a quarter to noon..

And there it was staring me in the face R.I.P Anthony Rose..

I did not want to believe it, so I reached out to someone who knows..

She validated something I did not want to start believing…

I was in the middle of work, but I could not stop myself from grieving..

I know Ant this took me a while to come around to write..

It is just things in my head were not right..

I did not want to do this half-assed cause that’s not something you deserve..

I just had t...

Racism

This months topic is freestyle….

So as I sit here waiting for my career to get infected by West Nile…

I will spit a quickish kind of piece….

I am a white man at the age of 28….

I have to give you that information, so you could relate…

I grew up in an area where I was the minority…

But back then seeing race was not a priority…

I consider some of those friends my family….

So I been wanting to get something off my chest badly…

Just cause I am white does not make me racist, but you can have your opinion..

But some of you all mighty holy, so you in a sense is sinning…

One of the 10 commandments is love thy neighbor…

How many of you have a neighbor of a different race, and will not ask them for a favor ?

Why because their skin shows a different pigmentation ?

Why cause you...

Dear Matthew

I had a blessing my whole life, but just recently I started knowing…

Always wondered what I was doing or where I was going...

Was a crucial part in me growing…

Took care of me when he didn’t have to…

My blessings in disguise is my brother Matthew…

Always cared about me before he did himself…

Made sure I was okay before he cared about his health…

Continued doing everything he could without hearing a thank you…

Instead he received *** you and I hate you…

He never heard the words he so truly deserved…

Not even when we deeply conversed…

I don’t know why I never said these two words…

The words he still till this day so rightfully deserves…

He should hold the title of my father and my brother…

You might as well give him the title of my mother&hell...

Social Media Addiction

Today We Live In a World Overpowered by Social Media..

What Happen To When Kids Use To Read Books From Comics to the Encyclopedia..

We Sit Here Judging The Addicts That Smoke It, Snort It, and Inject It..

Yet When You Wake Up and Right Before Bed You Check It….

You Are Hooked To Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook..

Just Take A Look…

People Post Every Single Second of Their Day on Social Media..

I’m Not Trying to Be Mean To Ya..

Cause I Am Just As Guilty As The Next Man..

Just Like Driving and Texting With The Other Hand..

Or Head In The Phone While Walking the Streets..

Too Distracted by The Book and The Gram to Notice When A Car Beeps…

I Am Not Writing This To Put People On The Spot…

I Am Just Trying To Bring Awareness to the Only Life You Got…

Like I Said I’m Just As Guilty As Everyone Else..

But Before You Pass Judg...