Majestic

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Making a come back, sorry have been away for a while, have been busy writing :) namaste to you all xxx Site Rank MAJOR GENERAL
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Conflicted?!?!?!?!

CATEGORY

life

I can't remember a time when I felt this conflicted,
Somehow I have got this far, for the 'rules' I was addicted,
The adrenaline rush of defending the innocent,
Working against a corporation who behave so indecent,
And as the tiny drops of fear fall from my dry eyes,
I have nobody to turn to for answers except the sky,
Which is endless and vast, scary to approach,
Can all the years of hard work be revoked?
Barrie's voice in my head
shouting "you need a backup plan",
Except reaching for my dreams has always been who I am!
Perhaps I have already written a page to fall back on?
But fear of impending failure is a force to be reckoned!

See as I write the words reaching for what is in my heart,
The words flow so much easier than they did at the start,
I have always known, from a child, my passion is art,
But I was always ALWAYS told...."so many have failed, what makes you, especially you of all people, any different?"
Well.....

The talent in my hands comes as free and naturally as water,
I can create magic on paper and play music that will make ya,
Get up out of your seat, inspired empowerment of your dreams,
I have sourced everything I ever wanted, dragging my hands upon my knees,

But possibility is not something that comes easily,
In this complicated, judgmental industry,
And what if I don't make it???
I don't wanna be a poor writer who can't afford to pay ,
I've come this far through experience and the knowledge I have gained,
The most powerful of lessons learned when I've been completely drained!
I'm not a person who gives up easily,
Unless I'm pushed into it purposefully,
The doubts in my mind haunt me like the bridge at the end of my street.
What if I let people down? What if I regret a wasted opportunity?
Am I doing a degree to prove something to myself,
Prove to my 'parents' there is more to me than poverty and poor health,

I spent years teaching teenagers, they were the best years of my life,
I got to play music everyday and could sleep every night!
Do I want to get back into a job that thieves every hour I own?
I don't think I'm even strong enough for that now - each time internally blown.
When I look at everything I have earned,
This pathway leads me against everything I have learned!

I don't know if I'm that person anymore, I have more love than a need for power,
I guess that's why I'm so conflicted on this outrageous 11:11 hour.

Universe you are telling me one thing and insight demands another,
It's times like this I really wish I had a relationship with a mother,
Maybe I should finish what I've started for now and see what happens after?
I've never had a crossroads like this and all I can hear is my 'father'!!!!
Conflicted much? :-S

Majestic-Anon-Creedy

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COMMENTS


		Wordman21 says: Word...Nice, very Nice poems by this commentor My Weakest Soul I Think Trails Apart

OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Majestic

Conflicted?!?!?!?!

Vibrations

Our world is made up of silent vibrations,
Gently they tremor aside mother nature's expressions,
Connections from the ground to the clouds in the sky,
Another existence around us only visible in minds eye,
Every being has a colour that relates upon the earth,
Always around us, even when blinded by our search,
For our true pathway in this lifetime,
Lessons learned from another,
Wiser and brighter, sensations higher, the universe is my mother!

I need only the minimum required to exist,
Open minds with a power to make dreams manifest,
Humanity to your brother even when he is challenged,
Find peace in the sensual electricity of a paradigm unaware.

Surrounding planets creating intelligent life,
A new universe awaits in the dark of the night,
Forming higher in numbers and spiritually connect with similar minds,
Open to the beauty in the secret before our e...

A dream come true!

Shall I, shan't i, shall I, shan't i?

Oh I don't know,

20 minutes over the send button,

Seemed easy an hour ago,

I've been dreaming of this moment for 8 long months,

What if she's lost interest in me?

But I really could do with one of those hugs!

I guess I'm not sure if I wanna kill my dreams,

*** it, here we go send send send.....

At least now I'll have an answer to if we're only friends,

I know I'm capable of making my dreams come true,

But man this girl is one that who...

Captures your whole soul in a split second glance,

When she kisses you, easily, you slip into a trance,

Years ago I'd see her, couldn't help but watch her dance,

I was sold that night I shared with her, all intensity enhanced.

Has a mind that can inspire you, educate subconsciously,

Only concerned with the way her mouth moves, speaking words so beautifully,

Try to keep my eyes with hers even with wonde...

What is love?

I used to believe it was about a sexual connection,

Heat of the moment, fight or flight,

But I soon learned this leads to rejection.

Relationships based on lust were messy,

So I went years with not having any - just reckless sex, and I loved it!!!

What is love?

Partners always wanted co-dependancy,

24/7 every hour of intimacy,

Struggling to breathe, swamped by each other,

Ungrateful for the small things and the merits of one another,

Suffocated lives, entwined and obtuse, callously fighting for power,

Drawing the worst out of ourselves, our own souls we devour.

I knew all along that we were doing it wrong,

But as we all know, love can be very strong,

And overpowering - always a demanding need to please the other.

What is love?

A prosperous future - no emotion, little affection, intentions that are ruthless,

Have the best lifestyle, the belongings and ambiguou...

The Life Of Aileen Wuornos

Aileen Wuornos, 'Americas first serial killer',
Surrounded by media like the zombies from 'Thriller',
With an unsettled mind and a past in hell,
6 lives were lost, 7 including hers as well.

We can only go by her words on video,
Claims she was "tortured in prison" and considered a psycho,
Everyone she loved had betrayed her in the end,
Including her lover who she claims was her "best friend".

So her story supposedly starts when she was a small child,
Mother abandoned her at birth then lived years in denial,
People would take advantage and confessed this on trial,
She slept in the snow after her father became rivalled,
He would beat her with a belt, and once made her pregnant,
Forced to give up the baby and then suffer the punishment,
Sleeping in cars and snow was finally her banishment,
The local boys filled her days with evil...

Let Me Innovate You

People laugh at me for the things I say,
They think I'm unhinged 'cos I'm angry,
I guess that's what comes from being 'awake',
But I'm not alone, I have my Anon family,
I wonder if those people ever stop to think,
What it is that makes me so angry,
Do they really think I am crazy and unhinged,
Or are they avoiding the truth that I'm shouting?

It took me years to wake up, but I always knew,
There were more to the arguments and the people who,
Have big money plans and use us as slaves,
Single mothers indebted to child care as they struggle on minimum wage,
Kids failing school, becoming thieves and thugs,
Only allowing us to use prescription drugs,
Do you ever stop and think why we can drink and not smoke weed?
It's so industries building have a chance to succeed,
Health and profit - do the two go together?
Chi...

The Secret

There's something in the air and it's quite alluring,
Amongst the colours there are stomachs churning,
Multi-coloured smoke from a flame slow-burning,
Eventually a predication, on the tables turning,
What's occurring??
Could 'The Secret' be true?
Clouds are clearing and skies are blue,
Electric atmospheres spun right through,

Uncertain steps are leading astray,
As if someone's listening to the silent words I say,
Feels like only a few weeks, the other day,
Would have thought such craziness would have gone away!

Again I can write and my mind is clear,
I had a small block earlier this year,
Things went wrong, but I made no 'pigs ear',
I guess the stars knew, something's occurring up here,
I fear....I could be completely wrong,
Perhaps the 'fools' had a point all along,
I'm never this...

Bleed Indigenous Hope

From a canyon with three points in the Arizona scape,
Where 'humanity travelled' from the Eastern states,
On a wall in the depths where fresh corn grows,
There's a tribe and a prophecy not often exposed.

They say it takes 'two and a half lifetimes' to tell this tale,
With the gods or such leaders of an 'alien' cartel,
They tell of a 'horned devil man' doesn't reside down in hell,
He decides upon your entrance to a 'heaven' from a life lived well.

Mother Earth is our ruler and the sun depicts love,
The moon also a spirit as well as the stars up above,
'Water is life' and with that you'll survive,
No need for technology, take what you need for your ride.

A prediction engraved on stone of the success of humanity,
Suggests we should love the land we occupy and live life candidly,
There's a true pathwa...

Two Queens

Her oxygen levels lower as her heart starts to race,
Waiting for the affection in a harsh embrace,
Hair over her head as she's bent over,
She doesn't want her mistress to see her face.

Two queens of adrenaline, for now one is in charge,
Hasn't touched her for a week, you would think she was starved,
The other submissive but she likes it that way,
Begging for the pleasure, hair stuck over her face.

The boss in her ego uses her mouth to tease,
Digging her nails in the back of her on her knees,
Runs her fingers through her hair with the girls hands bound,
Giving into temptation and the shaking of the ground.

Pulls aside the girls garment to tease her some more,
With fingers deep inside her the girl is begging for more,
Temptation is overwhelming so she pulls her to the floor,
Slaps her on the behind, ...

Uncertainty

People call me selfish, arrogant, deranged,

I react badly to things, I need to change,

4 years later I've done as they've said,

Now I hear "you're boring now, why have you changed?"

I'm confused and desperate, lonely and helpless,

I've worked hard to be accepted and behave totally selfless,

Therapists screaming "you're words need to change, your behaviour is ineffective, you need to change!"

What if this is me? Why do I have to change?

"Are you happy like this?"

No!

"Well then you have to change"

So does this mean I have to accept fault for what made me this way?

Is it my fault my dad beat me? Cos of the words that I say?

Was it my fault I ran into more fists of a love when I ran away,

Is it my fault that my mother resents the fact that I am gay?

Is it my fault every mother ***er I come across throw words like bricks?

Say I'm a masculi...

Conflicted?!?!?!?!

Conflicted?!?!?!?!

Vibrations

A dream come true!

What is love?

The Life Of Aileen Wuornos

Let Me Innovate You

The Secret

Bleed Indigenous Hope

Two Queens

Uncertainty

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